#i love doing this pls send me characters and how you would describe them and i'll find sculptural chairs that i think exemplify them

[oldmanffucker]

Hilson as Sculptural Chairs

Allan Wexler, “Interchange chair” / Jaime Pitarch, "Close Encounters" / Nacho Carbonell, "Evolution" / Andrea Magnani, ''One Divided by Two'' / Fernando and Humberto Campana, "TransPlastic"

[koiiiji]

✧˖° — windbreaker men & their nasty, perverted habits

✧˖° — mdni, smut, description of not safe for work content.

✧˖° all characters aged up ° ˖ ✧

idk why app let me add only 10 pics, so pls sorry, i added mostly rare characters✌🏻🥹😭

HANDSY! vinny

who is always seeking for your attention and physical touches unintentionally. vinny isn’t a big fan of showing feelings on public but he would keep his hand when hugs you by the waist suspiciously close to your ass or boobs. when you two in private, be prepared for a lot of ass spanks and vinny’s nimble hands to be all over your body under the shirt.

SPYING! jay jo

filthy motherfucker who would rather die then admit that he want to fulfill some sexual tension. so he would do everything, but not initiate sex - spying on you while you in bath, or his favorite, when you taking shower and and he can watch how streams of water flow down your hair, down your back, going lower and lower, and clouds of steam create some kind of obstacle, not allowing to fully enjoy the view, but still leaving an intimate picture that he is watching as if mesmerized, from behind a half-closed door

WHINY! min u

min u sometimes moan as a joke when you in hangout together, for example when you slap him on a shoulder after another joke, or when he accidentally hits his hand on a table or corner in your presence. AND he is super vocal in bed, like super super… even if he is on top, his voice go wild sometimes, when he's already euphoric and you're both chasing your second or third orgasm.

DIRTY MINDER! noah

noah thinks about sex in general and sex with you almost 24/7. she not thinking about it only when training and cycling, even in her sleep she saw dreams about having sex few times. she thinks about poses you two can try, about how you would look like under her or on top, or how it would look like in the mirror reflection, or if you try handcuffs, or if…. it’s always on her mind. she likes to experiment, as long as you comfortable with this, but even if you not, she would try to talk about it and comfort you into her experiment.

HORNY! harry

here is a little bit different from noah. harry just wants to have himself inside you, make love with you, hold you, rearrange your insides, all kinds of words that describes fucking. he is not thinking about experiments or things he want to try, he just want to be inside you. especially, he likes after training or after race sex, when he is still full of adrenaline and came to you to relieve himself. it doesn’t matter to be rough and aggressive sex, no, he hates to give you pain. yes, sometimes he likes to be a little bit rough but mostly he stops himself unless you saying him opposite, so mostly it’s just such a passionate sessions of making out, preparing, sex, and after care when he’s already calmed down, rubbing your back and humming softly.

PANTY STEALER! hwangyon

pervert. even though you two in relationship don not wonder that you won’t find your underwear after sleepover at his place. and if on this weekend you decided to stay at your place, don’t wonder if you won’t find pair of thong in your closet, this nasty whore definitely woke up earlier and took pantie to his pocket. it is not necessary for him to do something with them, but hwangyeon will definitely wrap them around his dick and will jack off, so when he finishes he will took photo of your panties covered in his cum and send it to you. you will phone him right after receiving photo and yell for stealing your new pair.

BREEDER! sangho

sangho likes the idea of having wife and his own small family. just him, you and your swollen tummy where will his own child come from soon. (and no annoyingly loud siblings) he likes to be on top, in control, and the idea of impregnate you makes him feral. thought about your fertility, and that he is actually able to make you a child, makes him feel that strange sensation in his lower abdomen, as if a knot is being untied. of course firstly you two had a talk about it, and both probably agreed on having protection initially, but god damn, sangho always cumming harder after imaging you having his child.

[tamayakii]

Their Angel. Yan!HOTD x Reader

I've been having so many thoughts about yandere house of the dragon x reader, how the 3 big houses (Targaryen, Velaryon & Hightower) would fight for the darlings' affection. Platonic, Familial or romantic. I feel like they would, of course, all fight over what colours you would wear, what house you represent until a very annoyed and exhausted council member suggested white.

"like an angel," Viserys adds, it was said that the gods had sent you down to bless them so dressing you in white seemed the best option... but that didn't stop them from gifting you jewellery that had the colours of their house.

The Hightower jewellery had the most expensive Jade and Emerald on top of gold, these pieces can range from delicate rings to big statement necklaces that encompass your neck. Alicent prefers to give you these gifts in person, alone, perhaps in her or your chambers. Presenting you with the beautifully engraved box as she opens it, showing you a new necklace with a beautiful dark green emerald. Otto's gifts never cease to awe you in how quiet that man is in his actions, a small indiscreet box upon your pillow when you ready for bed. Inside lays a note, upon which Otto describes the moment he found this beautiful ring and knew he must get it for you, the handwriting almost as beautiful as the peridot ring you now proudly wear on your pinkie.

The Targaryen jewellery is almost always extravagant, having connections to get you the best out of everything. Viserys gifts you capes, crowns and veils but unlike the others, he almost always keeps them in white, unless they have jewels. His favourite thing to see you in is crown veils, the jewellery hanging down and framing your face makes you seem like you stepped down from heaven's gate. When Aemma was still around, she gifted you rings and earrings, she wasn't able to give you much before she passed in childbirth. So you hold these gifts quite dearly to your heart, always sporting the dark ruby red ring on your thumb, twisting it when you get nervous. Rhaenrya, oh dear Rhaenrya, she wanted everyone to know that you belong to the Targaryens. To the Blood of The Dragons, her first gift to you was a cloak clasp that show two dragons on each side, her second gift was a crystal bracelet that had a chain connecting to a ring, it was a simple design but by the gods it made you feel exquisite. There was one gift that set the nail in the coffin, it was a gift from Rhaenrya and Aemma, a dragon that wrapped around your neck. Signifying the hold that House Targaryen has on you.

The Velaryon jewellery is often pearls or other sea gemstones as they sit on driftmark and have a hand over the trading routes, Rhaenys upon her second meeting of you, gifting you a pearl ring slipping upon your finger herself. Corlys gifted you a relic that was been with the Veleryons for ages on your first birthday with them, the beautiful necklace made with blue topaz, moonstones and blue chalcedony, wrapped beautifully with Valeryon silver. Vaemond... never was quite as fond as you as his brother and sister-in-law were, you were no Targaryen or Velaryon but for small moments he forgot that and adored your sweet smile.

I would love to draw male and female outfits of what this au's darling would look like, i can also do a part two of the other things the other characters would give you as i excluded a lot as to not make this any longer than it is. Should i make a fic with this idea? pls send me an ask if you're interested in this au

[vrmxlho]

-ˏˋ ur socials as isagi’s gf ˊˎ-

-`♡´- liked by 666666, megsbachira and 698 others

yn: hello? 911? someone's burning down my fucking kitchen

tagged: isagi_11

isagi_11: nobody appreciates me here

↳ 666666: yeah lol

↳ isagi_11: nagi pls get a fucking life, like please i'm begging you

↳ yn: stop fighting under my post or i'll cut your throats 🥰

megsbachira: how do you tag people?

megsbachira: ik y'all are seeing this guys how the fuck do i tag people?

itoshi_rin: please get this off my feed

↳ yn: you don't need to comment on every single one of my posts 😒

↳ itoshi_rin: what can i say, i like spreading hate

-`♡´- liked by 666666, mikage and 712 others

yn: bros tryna photobomb my dog's fucking photoshoot ☹️☹️

tagged: isagi_11

megsbachira: can you just send me a screen recording of you tagging ppl i need to know 😐

isagi_11: i MADE the photoshoot

↳ yn: don't lie love 😞

chigiri: i'm not a big fan of the photo ngl

↳ yn: sorry to disappoint, i blame it all on yoi***

↳ chigiri: yeah don't let that happen again

↳ isagi_11: booo 👎👎

mikage: when did y'all get a dog???

↳ yn: it's been like two years????

↳ isagi_11: reo you deadass bought it's collar 😭😭

↳ mikage: i don't remember all my purchases 💀

-`♡´- liked by kaisersexc, chigiri and 1.3k others

isagi_11: SHE DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM LMAOOO

tagged: yn

yn: why would you say such a thing

yn: THIS IS DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER DO YOU KNOW HOW HARMFUL THAT IS?

↳ isagi_11: no, but you could tell me over dinner 😉

↳ yn: i don't ever wanna be near you ever again

↳ isagi_11: ramen?

↳ yn: mmm ok, but only because i'm a very generous and charitable person 😒

↳ isagi_11: i just think you have a crush on me 🤭

↳ yn: more lies 😥

megsbachira: what if you taught me how to tag people 🥺🥺🥺

-`♡´- liked by itoshi_rin, mikage and 987 others

yn: my one and only <33

tagged: isagi_11

isagi_11: me n you @fifa

↳ yn: is that so? 🤔

↳ 666666: YEAH GET HIS ASS!!

↳ isagi_11: jokes yk 🤗🤗🤣🤣

↳ yn: what if we jokingly break up 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️😂

↳ isagi_11: LOLLL 😭😭😭😭

↳ isagi_11: please don’t

megsbachira: he **will** be your one and only once i remove you from my life 😐

↳ yn: megs what’s gotten into you ☹️☹️

↳ megsbachira: JUST TEACH ME HOW TO TAG MY GOD ITS BEEN MONTHS

↳ yn: just press “tagged people” before you post and then add them 😭😭😭

↳ megsbachira: oh, it was that easy…

↳ megsbachira: thanks

↳ yn: 😭😭

-`♡´- liked by megsbachira, eggod and 2.4k others

isagi_11: happy birthday angel i love you so so much, i have searched dictionaries to find words to describe how i feel yet the only conclusion i’ve come to is that it’s indescribable

p.s. thank you prada for making this dress so easy to rip off ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

tagged: yn

yn: my poor dress ☹️

↳ isagi_11: i’ll get you another one

↳ yn: 💕💞🫶❤️💗💖

666666: TMI!!!!

yn: you’re so cute

↳ isagi_11: no you <333

↳ eggod: please stfu 😭😭

↳ yn: eita kys

↳ eggod: no you <333 🥺🥺

itoshirin: which poet did you steal this from?

↳ isagi_11: nicki minaj

[star-girl69]

do you have any headcannons for reading getting prego?😲

like how the family navigates and etc. or how the baby would lookkk

My Heart Never Knows

(Headcannons)

a/n: i’ve gotten a few requests for these so i’m just gonna loop them all into one

if anyone has anymore ideas for this au pls send an ask!!

warnings: mentions of blood, crying, swearing, pregancy, mentions of giving birth

—-

ok each characters reaction to finding out:

jake:

like absolutely mind blown

didn’t think he would have any more kids

totally lifts you up and spins you around

if you’re feeling dizzy or have morning sickness and told him, he’d set you down immediately

“i’m sorry, baby, so sorry, i just- just can’t…”

i’m a big believer in the headcannon that he would drop to his knees immediately and just start kissing your stomach, even if you weren’t showing

talking to the baby immediately

laughing bc he’s trying to describe like the entire world to the baby and you’re like literally a month along

neytiri:

probably starts crying but like in a good way

places her hands on your stomach

“our baby will be strong, and fierce.”

kisses all over your face and tells you how perfect you are

neteyam:

his initial reaction is: what

i mean he kinda expected it bc… reasons…

but still it’s a shock

takes after his dad, gets down onto his knees and introduces himself to the baby

“hi, baby. i’m your big brother, neteyam”

genuinely just so sweet and exited

(he’s secretly hoping for a sister, he’s long since accepted that girls have taken over the family)

lo’ak:

hugs you so tight and then gets scared and asks if he killed the baby

almost crying tears of relief when you tell him no

talks to you for literal hours about he is going to be the best big brother

(is hoping for a boy)

kiri:

gasps so loudly and grabs your hands and does a little happy dance with you

also starts introducing herself to the baby

immediately starts talking about names

you cry a little when she suggests something similar to grace if it’s a girl

starts a seashell collection

is obviously hoping for a girl (she’s a firm believer that they need to outnumber the boys)

tuk:

is the type to poke your belly and ask

“are you SURE there’s a baby in there?”

is kinda sad when she realizes she won’t be the littlest one anymore

it’s makes it worse when you tell her she’ll always be your baby, she just has to share you a little bit

you tell her she can talk to the baby and then she’s all smiles again

all in all she’s a little sad but you tell her that she will basically have a built in friend for life closer to her age and she’s ecstatic at that

doesn’t really care if it’s a boy or a girl as long as she has a new friend

what they’re like when you’re farther along and actually snowing, having symptoms and such:

jake:

scared out of his mind

“let me help you with that” and you’re like carrying a literal feather

CANNOT fall asleep unless his hand is on your stomach

squeals like a little girl when the baby kicks

judges your cravings so hard

once you cried bc yk… hormones… and he literally almost started crying too

“i’m so sorry sweetheart i was just joking”

“I HATE YOU JAKE”

neytiri:

is also scared out of her mind but is a little more practical about it

actually knows what’s it’s like to be pregnant so she lets you vent to her about all the struggles

rubs your feet if they’re swollen no complaints

tries not to judge your cravings but she totally does

also squeals when the baby kicks but is a lot better at hiding it

neteyam:

does not let you lift a finger

“oh! i forgot to grab this from the market or whatever”

“let me grab it for you mom i’ll be right back”

*sprints to the market and back* (it was not time sensitive)

smiles so wide when he feels the baby kick

LOVES talking to the baby it’s his favorite past time

lo’ak:

all of a sudden you’re HIS baby

will not rub your feet but will tell neytiri that you need someone to rub your feet

so protective

once someone bumped into you when you were walking around

you placed your hand on your bump on instinct

he started hissing at the poor person and you had to drag him away

he’s a guard dog actually

like ao’nung throwing a ball that landed by your feet and lo’ak fantasized about punching him

doesn’t though bc he doesn’t want to cause his mama any extra stress

when you told him to lay your head on his stomach to hear the baby kick he almost cried he just felt so loved

kiri:

the seashell collection is out of control

breakfast conversation is her daily ranking of the baby names

“ok i know i said that yesterday i was sure about *** but now my number one is ***”

randomly pokes your stomach as if to make sure the baby is still in there

always catches the baby at a bad time so she’s only felt it kick a few times

randomly places her hand on your stomach as if to surprise the baby into kicking

one day it will work she swears

tuk:

new fav thing to do is to listen to the baby

talk to the baby

look at your bump

she’s obsessed

also becomes a little protective

it kinda clicks that yes, there is actually a baby in there, and she’s like

“omg it’s so defenseless”

hisses at anyone who comes close when you’re out and about

even hissed at jake once he was so offended

“that’s literally my child in there”

“ITS MY BABY SIBLING HISSSSS”

when you’re in labor:

jake:

STRESSING so hard

ronal and neytiri kicked him out bc his “bad energy was in the air”

punches the wall a few times when you scream in pain

literally someone check this man’s heart he is STRESSING

neytiri:

holds your hand the entire time

is also stressing

wants to cry a little but manages to hold back her tears

keeps brushing the hair from your face and kissing your temples

whenever ronal speaks she’s like dead silent

(she’s terrified she’s gonna say somethings wrong)

neteyam:

this entire family is just stressing tbh

watches his dad punch the wall and is just like “are you good…”

is just praying that the both of you are happy and healthy

when you’re silent for a few moments his heart stops until he hears you again

lo’ak:

did i mention that this entire family is just stressing so hard

thinks about what his life will be like if you weren’t there

HATES IT

tries to come into the room bc he’s scared and wants to make sure you’re not dying

doesn’t get let in the door but at least he tried

kiri:

reorganizes the seashell collection to distract herself

it only partially works

helps take care of tuk

makes everyone get into a prayer circle and no one complains bc they’re all scared as heck

tuk:

all she knows is that her mama is in pain

literally starts crying

just wants to see you

has a basic understanding of death and she knows that it would be absolutely horrible if anything bad happened to you

is excited for her new friend though!

meeting the baby

i’m sorry y’all it’s a girl anways

jake:

cries so hard

literally cannot believe it

kisses your forehead

“you’re the most amazing woman on this planet, y/n, i swear”

is absolutely ecstatic that it’s a girl (he really just wanted a healthy baby but still. he’s such a girl dad)

neytiri:

cries

she thought she wouldn’t cry, she wanted to be strong, but then she just saw you and the baby and she broke down

also in absolute disbelief that her life could be this amazing

literally thinks you are eywa herself like she is just so amazed

neteyam:

sees a bloody cloth or sheet or something and almost passes out

says that the baby is the cutest he’s ever seen

tuk gets mad and he quickly says that it’s actually a tie

he’s such a gentlemen he probably says that you still look beautiful even though you just pushed out a whole baby

lo’ak:

just wants to see his mama

hugs you and puts his head against your chest

has to lay there for a while and listen to your heartbeat

when he holds the baby he’s in absolute shock like oh eywa she looks so much like you too

has learned from neteyam and says the baby is tied with tuk for the cutest

kiri:

demands to see the baby as soon as she walks in

stares for a few moments before saying

“mhm definitely a ***”

you love the name and cry a little, she hugs you and gets a little choked up too

is so excited to present the seashell collection

tuk:

is also just so happy to see her mama

holds the baby and says she looks weird

everyone is too happy to scold her

“THIS WAS IN YOUR TUMMY???”

[20thcentwriter]

Crumbs Asks:

You're going grocery shopping and the Ewanverse lads are tagging along. Describe the experience - who's most helpful, who pushes the trolley, who's getting lost down the freezer aisle, etc.

a/n this is a really interesting question!! I’m going to answer it though how the experience would be with them indiviually than them all together with me. that would just be chaos.

modern au for all charact btw lol

Pls send more asks like this, I love making headcannons hehe

Likes and reblogs are appreciated peeps

Without further ado

Aemond Targaryen- I feel like aemond would kinda just let you do your thing and just push the trolley, helping you if you need it. he just wants you to get what you need done. he isn’t horrible company though, he’s just kinda there. he wouldn’t get distracted.

Billy Taylor- Billy is an S tier person to tagalong with you shopping. extremely helpful, pushes the trolley, helps you reach for stuff. i mean he is a bell boy and customer service is the main part of his job. i personally think his love langauge is acts of service and gift giving but that non applicale so he fully enjoy just helping you. it’s safe to say he won’t be distracted as he’s just giving you all his help,

Michael Gavey - he would be the most help with math. he would be comparing prices on name brand and knockoff finding the best price. he would also be the best while shopping to tell you how much you’ve spent. pretty much a human calculator.

Osferth- pretty much like billy taylor, an amazing person to tagalong with you. also great company. i will say he would get distracted in the lingere and the sexual wellness section (we literally have a section at walmart that has different vibrators but in order to get one you have to ask for assitance since it’s locked up) looking at different toys, thinking very unholy thoughts because that boy is kinky

Billy Washington - he wouldn’t mind going if it meant spending time with you but he wouldn’t choose to go. mainly because he’s jobless and doesn’t have the money to spend so why would he go to the store. when he does come with you, he’s not the worst company he kinda just tags along behind you like a puppy.

Tom Bennett - he’s would be great company but he is a little shit (affectionately). he would be distracting you to the point you end of having to go back afterwards because he made you forget some items. he has you push the trolley but that’s because he wants to have his arm around your waist or shoulder. of course sarcastic comments but thats just Tom lol.

Genyen- He wouldn’t be horrible to bring with you, like he’d be helpful but youre bound to have shit you didn’t purchase in your shopping bags at the end. Bro the whole time is just stealing shit and trying to hide it. that’s all if he isn’t already banned from the store.

Ettore- his is the worst to bring along. Ettore should not be allowed to be in society. makes you push the trolley so he can look at your ass from behind, makes you grab items you cant reach so he can see your shirt ride up, touches you innapropiately.

the only character not here is Abraham because i honestly don’t even know.

[eluxcastar]

As I opened my tumblr, just to check if there is new Arlecchino stuff to swallow... lo and behold, I saw your post with the Arlecchino simp tags. Shot me the moment I stepped into the door right there, hahaha! May I request an Arlecchino x reader, headcanon or anything you're comfortable coming up with. The reader is thousands of years old, who got disowned by the Tsaritsa because they declined their performance in greatness for someone else's benefit and saw no worth in her/them. Could be a sibling or a friend, the betrayal stung like a bee since she/they saw Tsaritsa as a mother figure or could literally be the mother (Got kunikuzushi'd in a way, minus the puppet part). So, here's the main part - How Arlecchino would handle that person, when they meet in hostile terms. An accidental encounter, had banters and fights and eventually found strange subtle solace from each other. Could be romantic, or just obsession on Arlecchino's part because we love deranged women pls step on me with your sharp heels - anyway, since Arlecchino is interpreted as someone who won't hesitant to betray the Fatui. On her own benefit, works with the reader to mess and interrupt Fatui operations. I won't include more or else you'd be dealing a whole thesis of it. Hahahah! Good day to you~!

One of Repetition

── ୨୧：arlecchino x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: in a strange decision nobody quite understood but could not contest, you were dismissed from your position by the tsaritsa herself but allowed to live. you wander for some time, lost and confused, and most notably unable to escape the fatui even when you are no longer associated with them, which means an unwanted letter and an even more unwanted visit from the knave.

୨୧﹑genre :: kinda angsty

୨୧﹑content :: fem reader, reader has a pyro vision, arlecchino has a cryo delusion, reader uses a bow, capitano is not human this time, he's just a plot device too, their previous relationship is implied but ambiguous, implied age difference, reader is most often called by the title brighella, writing this spiralled me into insanity, possibly bad writing, not proofread 

୨୧﹑words :: 13.6k

hehe, I know that Arlecchino simps flock to me once they learn my requests are open. I have no idea why. maybe they're just especially desperate for food, but they linger, and I have a little collection of anons.

don't worry about how much it'll take me, I honestly enjoy writing longer works. anyway, I received a request similar to this some time ago (was it you? I have encountered that before) but haven't gotten around to completing it, so I'll be partly combining the two

here's the other request:

it's gonna provide some stuff for me to follow, and I remember exactly when I got it, so I wanted to include it for the dear anon who sent it

why brighella you may ask well that's because brighella has been described before as essentially Arlecchino's smarter and more vindictive brother and they compliment each other well. I think Arlecchino may also work for Brighella in some versions?? either way it felt right even though they're not really based off of the character brighella, they do share a few traits with him but not fully it's just a fun little parallel

I really did not expect this to be so long that it literally lagged the writing program I was using to save it and I have been staring at this for so long I literally have no gauge on the quality anymore just that it's variable because it took me so long someone send help

Her words left you exasperated, literally at a loss for words, and you struggled to comprehend the reason for it. There was nothing you could think of, no instance that struck you as prominent. Yet, somehow as one of the Tsaritsa's children, you had become what any parent might refer to simply as a disappointment, their failure—the problem child who never quite ironed out their issues. You had always been faithful to her, hopelessly devoted to the archon and her will. News such as this came out of nowhere and struck you like a hammer to the chest.

Two of her most mighty children were near and dear to her, and now the other had turned against you as he remains loyal to her. The Jester, who you once held in high regard, has turned against you. It is a bitter pill to swallow, for you must now sever ties with the one man you believed was truly deserving of serving the Tsaritsa. Your mother— your world— turns against you with him, before him, leading the way for him. 

In vain, you draw your bow to strike an arrow between his eyes, prove your strength and power as above your position, above him, but it means nothing. Your strike is blocked, and the Tsarita's Damselette Columbina moves to detain you. You believe she would not be strong enough, but you don't itch to fight ten other Harbingers. You understand that even you have a limit, and fighting what are supposed to be the strongest people in the country is not a part of that. Your honour is on the line, an honour which would tarnish not only Brighella's name but also have a ripple effect on your soldiers, men and women who fought for you and did not deserve a punishment that would result from their actions.

"Think carefully, Brighella." Columbina's warning is not lost on you, "You could remain as a hero or fight, and I will lure the creature you brought from the abyss and gut him before your eyes."

You do not want that. That creature is not yet loyal to the Tsaritsa but to you, and she will convince him he can save you. He will fall into her trap and die.

You bite your lip, trying to think of a way to escape and capture him so that you can run off somewhere. He does not deserve to die, but you can't think of anything. Not when you know how thorough these people are. There is not a will, really. There is only a has. He has fallen into her trap and is at the mercy of the Damselette. "What if I am to obey?" You finally ask the question you did not want to, surrendering in a way, though the bite has not left your words.

"I'll leave him be." Her answer is swift. She expected that you would eventually give in and only needed to wait for it to happen.

You shake your head, dissatisfied with only that as your compensation. "Not enough."

The smile on her face does not waver, thin and deceitful as ever, eyes hidden and closed, unseen behind the band of lace. "Mm. I can't bargain anything else." 

"Have him take my place." You lay your condition out firmly. There is only one to meet, and not a hard one at that. It would be easy to sway him into it, using whatever they plan to do to you as motivation. His loyalty and affection for you would make him accept it.

She ponders the situation and proposal momentarily, powerless to make the executive decision but undoubtedly keen on the thought of it all. "He believes that you are about to fall in battle to a foe and that he is going to save you."

You grit your teeth, knowing that this is her trap. Lure him to a place. It was not what you had expected, but it is no less the Damselette's style of acting. There is always a damsel, but perhaps she recognised that she would not suffice this time. She needed a better damsel for him to save; for that to work, it needed to be you. 

She needs your name, reputation, your relationship with your subordinate, melding together with her lies to make for a tale of tragedy with him as the hero.

The thought of him rushing to his death under the guise of saving you spikes your blood cold, chilling you. You're aware of her cruelty and always have been, but to experience it is different than hearing about it from her perspective. You are experiencing it from the perspective of the victim. 

His death was another factor to hold over your head, your penance, the anchor to force your compliance. Your blood boils with anger, but you cannot fight. Despite your feelings of anger and frustration, you know that lashing out will only cause further harm and pain.

There is only one thing you can do. You know you must. It's simply that you don't want to. 

But...you must. 

You must for him, that poor creature you tried to give a home to and who would never be in such a position if not for you and your ambition. 

"Then I will fall, and you will use the honour I built into him to persuade him." 

It was an honour meant to humanise him in a way, a being only able to imitate humanity. He had a mentor and something to fight for. Now you're imploring that it be used against him to burden him, but he will do well in your position.

Columbina smiles, that thin mocking smile like she knows the secrets of this world and more. "Would he really believe that?"

The helmet. You should use the helmet to your advantage. Your subordinate's first exposure to humanity, being you, a woman in a metal helmet, seemed to last. He used to think that was what humans looked like, and he admitted as much to you as he had asked you to remove it. Your impression left an indelible mark on him that he treasures to this day. Even if he was to see you in the aftermath, he would not uncover the lie.

"He has never seen my face. He would not recognise me."

Columbina accepts that readily, and her eyes open, pools of black and white visible through the cracks in the lace over her eyes. You've seen them before, inky black sclera and inhuman patterns decorating the borders of her irises, but you can't help the unsettled feeling that makes a home for itself in the pit of your stomach. 

-

By the evening, you are stripped of your honours, titles and coat and dumped to the curb like a bag of rubbish somebody left out. There is no more fight, no more bargaining, no more arguing. Everyone has the things they want, for the most part, so you are all satisfied enough to remain amicable with each other. Without a fight, you allow the Jester to remove the fur-lined overcoat despite the cold that rushes over you once it is gone and discarded in a heap of fur and fabric on the floor with none of its previous value. 

After that comes the slow, deliberate removal of every trinket that denoted you as you. From your delusion, several gifts to your very insignia, the only thing left of you is a lone pyro vision and the clothes on your back. You've never been more thankful to not wear a standard-issue uniform lest you be made to undress and hand that over too.

That was it. Your everything.

With each piece of regalia taken, a part of yourself disappeared until you were left an empty husk of a person, your entire reason for being for hundreds of years snatched out from under you and spat on.

The Harbingers were supposed to be the children of the Tsaritsa, and this was your grand disowning. A show of power and influence over her closest children and, by extension, the ability to bring pain to her less-- to her followers. It was foolish of you to ever think you were special in her eyes for having been by her side since before the Archon War. What did it matter when she left you amongst the rest of them? The years you spent since you had hobbled into her life so tiny and cute were now reduced to a few personal belongings and a set of words that shattered your world to sharp and dangerous pieces that would only hurt you in your haste to reassemble them and string your life back together.

When you were young, your cuteness may have been your best asset: a small body with endearing quirks, the inability to walk long distances without tumbling. In this state, you required her for everything because you would only find danger in the harsh Snezhnayan winters. To even acquire your own food was unthinkable, so you were sheltered and provided with ample treats that you could nibble from the palm of her hand if that were what you wished. Anything to keep you happy and content.

Like a little trinket, she cradled you for as many years as it took you to grow, and once you were at an age you no longer needed to be cradled, she made you her loyal companion, or so you had believed. You thought her affection for you was unwavering. She was the only mother you had ever known; she is the only mother you will remember for all of eternity.

Although it may have been an exaggeration, watching the sun's gradual descent below the horizon, you could almost believe eternity would quickly prove to be a very real concept. You watch the sky darken in silence for a time. You roam aimlessly around the city, your presence still striking unease in the people from the threatening demeanour you learned to conduct yourself with as a Harbinger, even without your official attire. The only remnant of your former self is a helmet you consistently wore during every public appearance. 

You can't help your wandering mind. Did your imitation of the Tsaritsa's actions make you weak? Attempting to nurture someone in the same manner she nurtured you? You are not a god, only the former child of one. Maybe you cannot care for him and maintain your objectivity. It's possible that he has become your Achilles' heel, as you were forewarned when the Tsaritsa less than subtly suggested you eliminate him.

You cannot live like this.

No matter how many suns you watched set, you would never come to terms with it living like this. The world you once knew, which revolved around a singular governing entity and individual, has disappeared without a trace. Without a central axis to anchor it in place, your world spirals chaotically out of control, with each passing second feeling more frenzied than the last. Your head is too muddled, your brain too overwhelmed by your emotions to think objectively of the faults in your time as a Harbinger, years of your life spent that way, burying your thoughts beneath a heavy weight of despair.

You almost want to call them wasted, but that would be wrong. Without the Tsaritsa, you might've— no, would've died during the Archon War. Perhaps another god would take you in, but it is unlikely that they would have exhibited the same level of compassion and generosity as the Tsaritsa. They would not have coddled you into comfort the way she did. Then again, what if that had been your downfall? Did she ever genuinely want you to stay? Based on this...perhaps you took her kindness for granted and overstayed your welcome.

You had no right to make demands of her in your final moments as her child, acting like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum. But can you be justified? Can the threat to your subordinate's life negate that? Surely a bit, but not entirely, not if her actions were in response to yours. 

Oh, even if you begged on your knees, she would not take you back now.

Why had you not done that before?

She must be disappointed that your attitude was born from her compassion, the epitome of her failures. You do not deserve to call her your mother. You took her generosity as a guarantee, thought yourself above her other children solely because you were her first, and believed you were her favourite for no reason besides your own arrogance.

You have failed the only being in Teyvat willing to show pity toward you.

-

The deepest heart of Snezhnayan forest welcomes you readily with open arms and the gnashing jaws of monsters starving for food. The forest seems to come alive with a vicious hunger for flesh. You have nothing but your vision and bow left to aid your defence. Your delusion is gone, and your subordinates are nowhere to be found to assist you. Despite this, marking your way with a trail of bodies is easy. It is just an inconvenience to have to always be on guard, but you are strangely used to it. 

The cold is numbing as the air hits your face, your fingers almost wholly without a sensation of touch and even a tingle in your toes.

You spent many missions that way, tensed and expecting violence at any moment, hardly allowing yourself to sleep, let alone relax. It feels like nothing has changed in that respect, but you know everything has. You cannot hear the large crackling bonfire or the pattering of footsteps in the snow as your subordinates come to join you, their laughter and chatter and their whispers to each other.

There is a stark silence that is deafening to your ears.

-

On the seventh night, you pass through a village on the outskirts of Snezhnaya, where you first catch wind of the news you had agreed on. The locals informed you that they had recently halted their work for half a day in your honour, believing that you had passed away. All of them are completely unaware that as they remark on the death of Brighella, they are speaking to the former Harbinger, who asks about the news under the guise of being a curious traveller. They also strongly advised you against venturing into the innermost heart of the nation. If anyone were to notice the helmet carefully secured around your waist, it might bring unwanted attention to your travels.

Though you were stripped of your insignia, you have your armour, which by some grace had been spared from confiscation. Though a seemingly trivial act of kindness, a sense of pride swelled within you as you gazed upon it. You are glad it is still yours. This armour had accompanied you through countless blood-soaked skirmishes, serving as a steadfast shield against all manner of danger. 

It is at that moment you decide to treat it as a trophy. Though there is no truth to it, you take responsibility for the Harbinger's slaying. Now, the armour which once protected you as a Harbinger will stand as a triumphant emblem of your hard-won victory over Brighella and the end of the Harbinger's tyrannical hold over the land. You know that you will keep it close, treasuring it always as a tangible reminder of the sacrifices you made to reach this pivotal moment. You slayed Brighella. You ended the Harbinger's tyranny.

If you didn't know better, you would think you were getting a little too far into it and starting to believe it yourself.

By the eleventh night, you find yourself situated in an inn, and the nights only carry on from there all the way up to the twenty-second night since your abrupt dismissal and, to the rest of the world, your supposed demise. Already, the whispers that once revolved around Brighella's defeat now shifted to speculations regarding her successor. The question was not necessarily who, but who could possibly? Her brutal reign as a Harbinger had instilled fear in the hearts of all who crossed her path and in the minds of the people, no one else could measure up to her sheer terror-inducing presence. Nobody knows what happened once they dared to fight Brighella until now. She was only the Fourth of the Tsaritsa's children, but she was the most combat-heavy, and no one wished to cross her, except for the rumoured contender for her throne, who was spoken of in hushed tones as nobody was eager to have their reverence for whoever was bold enough to reach the wrong ears.

Your achievements find their place amongst the rumours as people say that Brighella's killer stole her armour and wears it as her trophy.

Despite the slew of gossip that its patrons indulge in, you enjoy the quaintness of this bar made and run by travellers who use it like a pitstop to rest and recuperate. It is a home to them, along with adventurers and merchants who benefit from the atmosphere. The people are strangers, often reserved and eager to keep to themselves, but have immeasurable wealths of information that spill with a few drinks and a group of acquaintances who are, for only one night of pleasure and indulgence, their lifelong friends.

Among those friends buried in your own tankard of cheap ale, you laugh along with their jokes and entertain their questions like a test of your ability to lie and improvise in this tale you're making for yourself. If they have names, you don't know them. Brighella's death was a glorious battle but isolated to the hills where you were alone.

"Brighella was alone, and they were weakened by prior injury. I don't know what caused it." You mix a dash of the speculations in, downplaying your strength a tad as you're unwilling to expose too much of it. "I'm not one to miss an opportunity. When would it arise again?"

One of your new acquaintances scoffs, amused but no less aware of the dangers of doing such a thing. "And make an enemy of the Fatui?" He is a new graduate of the Sumeru Akademiya who's come to make his way through Snezhnaya for a job offer. Reminds you of someone else, minus the graduating.

"They will not miss her." You are quick to answer—too quick, arguably—as it draws a sliver of attention before dipping back under the radar as a product of your confidence. "Her 'head' makes too cute a decoration on my side to pass up stealing it."

"I wouldn't dare say such a thing. Fatuus comes here sometimes." They are the words of a Snezhnayan native raised to worship the Fatui, though he is somewhat disillusioned by their crimes and cruelty, as you've learned many are.

"Let them hear it!" Your laughter is boisterous and unabashed. "They'll see the armour anyway. They probably despise her like everyone else."

Another one of your new friends, a travelling merchant from Fontaine, interjects your ravings to add only a passing comment. It was as she had done all evening, her secrets locked up tight. "She did not make herself likeable."

"She was not meant to be likeable but a fearsome warrior." Again, the Snezhnayan man rebuttals the criticism against her as he had been doing all evening again.

"You don't have to get so far up her ass, Brighella's not gonna crawl out of her grave and thank you for it."

"You're so vulgar."

You plant your tankard firmly down on the table between the four of you, leaning over it to close the distance between you and the man. "I'm not meant to be likeable either."

Forget being only a little too into the role. You're revelling in the freedom of this new identity of yours.

Quick to disperse the tension, your graduate friend changes the topic without a hint of hesitance in his voice. "They left an underling people believe will take their place. It's a surprise to think Brighella had someone who followed them with such...devotion."

"It's strange, but not impossible." The merchant from Fontaine again, contributing nothing you weren't all already thinking.

"Could she have had a sentimental side?"

"Who cares if she had a sentimental side?"

"Upset the attention isn't on you anymore?"

Anger crosses your face, but you stifle it just as quickly as it appears. You wish their attention was off of you, really. The former you, maybe, but you nonetheless. You want to know about your subordinate. What happened to your second in command? You don't care to hear their speculation as to whether you were or were not particularly emotional with your underlings. You know the answers to all of those questions and more without their guessing games.

"Regardless of the reason, they say the underlying is much easier to swallow than she is, so maybe the position of Fourth Harbinger will change drastically if he takes it." 

"Would he really change its purpose if he was so loyal?"

"Unintentionally, perhaps."

God, these people are so dull. Just listening to them, you can tell they know nothing of the ways of the Fatui. Harbingers are not individual job positions with specific parameters. Each role is its own, and they are moulded by the person who assumes them like a character in a play, enchanting and unsettling in a horrific mix of theatrics and violence. It is what they stand for. One does not assume the role and become an actor with a script. They must improvise and act on a whim to the beat of the Tsaritsaʼs drum, their life no longer their own.

They are not whatever these ramblings and poor excuses for speculations make them out to be.

"Terribly misinformed, aren't they?" In your ear is the low voice of the Snezhnayan man holding in his laughter at the two as the scholar and the merchant go back and forth. 

You glance to your left, where he has leaned closer to you. "Repulsively," you respond curtly.

He has a faint glint of satisfaction in his eye as you seem to have confirmed something. "I thought you might've been from Snezhnaya." 

"So what if I am?"

"It was only an observation."

In the background, the main conversation continues, just as clumsy as it was before you had tuned it out in favour of drinking some more. "Does this mean he will also be named Brighella?"

Straightening back in his seat, the man swiftly interjected their back-and-forth responses to explain to them. "They receive a unique title upon their promotion, and nobody knows what it is until then." A simple enough concept to understand.

"In other words, anything but Brighella."

"It hasn't been long enough to know yet."

"It's strange. Nobody knows his name even now."

That would probably be because you never gave him one.

You considered it in the years you spent with him but couldn't find one you liked. His name was inhuman, not for your ears and not for your tongue, rendering it useless to you and every human who would hear it. The night you found him was spent crowded around a bonfire listing off every suggestion you and your subordinates could think of to no avail, as he only sat quietly by your side and said little about any of these choices, finding no familiarity in any of them. That's only natural, you suppose. 

You still haven't chosen a name for yourself that isn't Brighella, either. Your old one is well and truly forgotten, with the years eroding your memories. It had been centuries since you had been called anything else. Evidently, picking names is not your forte. 

"As far as I've heard, nobody knows what it is."

You find the mention of your subordinate has completely ruined your mood. You are grateful the creature is alive but worried the knowledge you're snooping around to find out when he will be promoted could land you in trouble. It's troubling enough to wonder if he has heard your tales through the grapevine about how you had supposedly 'killed' Brighella—his mistress and mentor—which he would not be happy about. Though you did not fear the creature before, now that you've personally trained him to understand human combat, you're not so sure you'd want to fight him. It would be a hassle. Unlike many, you do not fear the inhumanity of the Doctor or the stone wall that's called the Jester. Even the cunning Damselette struggles to do more than unsettle you, but you respect that creature's raw strength and understand that no matter what you do, it doesn't matter. You are confined to a human form, and he is not.

You lied when he said he wouldn't recognise you, however. You don't actually know if he would.

You don't know the extent to which his eyes can pick out the details in your appearance that aren't physical. Had he memorised your relative build? Your height? The way you carry yourself and your mannerisms? The thought unnerves you, but so does everything else about him.

"I'm turning in for the night." Without regard for the ongoing conversation, you declare your intentions and abruptly shut down whatever is being said at the time without much care for it. Whatever it is, it isn't important. Your unfinished drink is left behind as you make your way to your quarters.

In retrospect, you understand their eagerness to merely cover up the circumstances of your dismissal. For a Harbinger as feared as Brighella, it is easier to halt work for a mere half-day rather than attempt to contain the resulting fallout of admitting one of their own was inadequate while simultaneously preserving their tenuous hold on power.

-

Months pass before there is talk of the crowning of a new Harbinger, the people abuzz with the news and eager to know all they can, preferably before the aristocrats feel like sharing the night of the event. You considered attending the ceremony but ultimately decided against it. You may have the courage to do so, but you are certainly not stupid enough to wander into the waiting heart of the Fatui's clutches. You have waited patiently for this moment and can easily wait longer to hear the news.

No longer treating the inn like a home, you settled somewhere in the plains of another nation only a few weeks after you had first arrived there, sensing the barkeep was getting sick of you and the attention you were drawing to his otherwise obscure establishment. 

People settled there for a night, saw you were there, and word of mouth as they boasted of their encounters with you lured others who came to see you. While this influx of new customers certainly provided a boost to business, it also had the unintended consequence of driving away those who preferred to keep a low profile and valued its place as being for those 'in the know'. In other words, while you were great for a boom in business, you were bad for long-term business. 

The barkeep pushing the mora you tried to pay him to pay for another night was enough to send the message he wanted you gone, out by morning. The idea you were not to come back for quite some time was clear to you in the look he gave you.  

Liyue, on the other hand, is filled with mountains and teeming with visitors who have come to witness the highly anticipated Rite of Descension. Surprisingly, the influx of tourism only adds to the overall enjoyment of your experience. You would think that tourism would hinder your time there, but completely contrary it makes it better in a way. The locals are expecting an influx of outsiders to come to see the Geo Archon in person, and, as a result, they are not only willing to hire help for the time but also serve later at food stalls, and the place is livelier. 

People notice you less as you blend into a crowd of people who don't belong, and you slip under the radar.

You have no interest in the Rite of Descension nor the Geo Archon, and most of your time is spent outside the Harbour.

Wangshu Inn is still within Liyue but at a considerable distance from the Harbour, a mid-point between there and the border to Mondstadt. It is quieter, which is neither good nor bad, and home to some very understanding owners who ask so few questions it almost alarms you. Nonetheless, you crave respite from the chaos and theatrics you were revelling in as a reprieve from the stress you were under, wondering how you would live your life now. At one point, you relished being hailed as a hero by many, but it soon became overwhelming, and you found yourself trapped in the clutches of Brighella once again.

Whether by design or happenstance, your identity had begun to consume your life again, and if you wanted to have any hope of living outside of Brighella, then that had to stop. And so, you sought out a place to lay down your burdens and unwind, leading you to where you are now.

You arrive your old self, and despite clinging to it since your travels had begun, you remove every piece of your armour for what you intend to be a long time and leave it all neatly arranged for when you eventually return to it. You feel compelled to finally don the fresh outfit you acquired during your journey through Fontaine. Admittedly floor-length dresses and extravagance are not your style after years of being cooped up in a heavy suit of armour, but there's something alluring about trying out a new look, especially when it involves pants that don't weigh more than a third of your body weight. Besides, you always kind of liked them anyway, just...not yet. Now seems like a good time to dip your toes in.

You almost don't recognise yourself when you finally see yourself in the mirror. Perhaps you got too used to seeing a metal helmet staring back at you and a suit of armour for a body, but the fresh air against your skin and lighter clothes feels...good. 

For the first time in a while, you feel free.

The new outfit is making you giddy, too giddy for your taste. You don't recall having such an innate pep in your step, only one that felt deserved, but this different. While you typically associate a sense of satisfaction with having earned it through hard work or perseverance, this newfound exuberance seems to come from just existing in your new clothes. You are happy just because even if there is nothing to feel happy about. It's as if the simple act of wearing them has given you a boost, despite not having accomplished anything significant. It doesn't even seem like you made much progress toward becoming yourself when you lay it all out on paper. You bought clothes and wore them, that's it. 

Something about it feels so much like yourself. The freedom to stray from what you thought you were until now, something you hadn't dared to try before.

One thing you like about Wangshu Inn is how it serves even people who aren't staying there. The ground floor overlooking the water is designated as almost a kind of restaurant. People filter in and out to be served, stay for lunch, meet with friends, and take breaks from their missions. It is meant as a place for travelling merchants, but you find that is not all its patrons see in it.

You are not nearly as sociable as you were in the Snezhnayan bar you were at, but this seems more manageable anyway.

"If you've come looking for work, the Adventurer's Guild may have a place for you." A suggestion from a merchant who struck up an idle conversation with you for some reason sticks with you. You can't say why, but you imagine a product of boredom.

"They accept anyone?" Your surprise is evident in your tone, as you thought they might have tighter restrictions.

Just as in disbelief fact as you are, he shrugs, "As long as you've got enough power to back yourself, a friend of mine said they'll accept anyone."

That sounds far too good to be true, at least for your taste. "And it doesn't matter where you come from or where you go?"

"Adventurers are known to get restless in one place for too long."

"I see, and you can just go up a--"

"Excuse me, miss." You don't remember hearing that voice, but you recognise the attire when you turn your head just enough to be met with the sight of a cicin mage standing before you impatiently awaiting your attention. The top half of her face is concealed, as is customary, but there's no mistaking the unkind smile that tugs at the corners of her lips as you meet her gaze.

Has she come for retribution? 

Despite your fears of having to make a mess, the woman reveals a letter that is sealed with wax and extends it towards you, expecting you to receive it sooner rather than later as she waves it slightly as a form of incentive. "From the Damselette," she adds.

"What could the Damselette want with me?"

"Perhaps a warning." The words slip by, quiet but noticeable, immediately catching your attention. You raise an eyebrow at her. She's slowly unveiling her contempt at your presence; you're very aware of that fact. You are not familiar with her. It is unlikely that she ever worked under your command. However, it is possible that she might've held a certain level of regard, which has since turned to hostility as rumours of her arrogant killer run rampant. "I don't know. I'm not privy to those things."

Your eyes glance over her from head to toe in thought, scrutinising her for any indication of where her animosity came from. However, there is nothing that gives away her motives. You break your gaze away from her and glance down at the letter in your hand. "I suggest you get a better hold of your tongue. They don't like it when you're rude to their guests."

Her smile does not waver. "You are not a guest." She states that fact with glaringly false politeness.

"Everyone who recieves correspondence from a Harbinger is a guest."

You suppose you can't fault her disdain when all is said and done.

From somewhere tucked away in her clothing, she pulls what appears to be a knife from your peripheral vision and points it at you, but you look up to find it is only a blunt letter opener balanced in the palm of her hand, waiting to be picked up.

"I was ordered to stay until you had read the letter to deliver her your response."

Just as she believes you are a murderer, the letter addresses you as such. Your lies have reached her ears. Moreover, she is playing along with them.

You expected threats and unfair deals, but it is only an update on what is happening regarding your position, the reassurance that they have not violated the terms of the agreement made. A half-hearted apology and an excuse. Preparations set them back, supposedly.

While you imagine preparing not only a funeral but a ceremony to announce the next Harbinger does take time, it would not take this much time with how prepared they were to kill you off in the first place. It was a planned betrayal.

It just looks better if they don't appear so prepared.

For whatever reason, perhaps your consolation prize for enduring her shameless lies, she shares a secret with you. As you casually scan the letter with little care for its contents, your attention is immediately drawn to the heart of the matter. It's the very subject on everyone's minds and all that anyone speaks of. 

Il Capitano. His name is Il Capitano.

Personally, you would not have picked it, but that does not mean that you hate the name. Quite the opposite, in fact, as you have to admit that when you envision the name paired with his face, it suits him well. She ends the letter promising that she will 'take good care of him', though you know that your respective ideas of those words do not align or even coexist in the same universe. There is an unmistakable discrepancy between her intentions and your own, and you don't like it.

"Come back to us, Brighella. You can watch everything you wanted in person."

-

You won't go back. It's a trap.

Irritated, you find yourself back in the heart of the country where nobody lurks, haphazard in the way you fire your arrows at every creature that dares to disturb your sense of peace. It's hard to focus, and you don't bother trying. Liyue is not the same as Snezhnaya, with open plains broken up by rocky mountains. The creatures are mostly the same, and all die the same, hilichurls and geovishaps running rampant and shot down into piles of meat and rocks.

It doesn't matter how loudly you shout, as there's nobody around to hear it. You could scream, cry, and throw a tantrum all you want, and it won't matter. Even if you throw yourself at the ground and bang your head into the dirt, nobody will see it.

This is all pointless. You will never escape. It will never matter how far you roam or how fast you run.

Why did you think you could? Had your brain melted from your head?

There is no other side. There is no salvation. You are owned from the day you're brought in until the day you die, but why? Why did they want to bring you back to Snezhnaya? What was the point? You are out of the way now, hardly causing trouble for them. Despite this, everything seems to be running smoothly, even with the liberties you have taken in your new role. Was that it? The reason they wanted you to see?

It must be. There is no other reason to risk exposing the lie otherwise. Unless it was to tarnish the Fatui's reputation.

You refuse to believe it is something as innocent as wanting to see your request honoured. Nothing is innocent within the Fatui, not an action without hidden intentions or motives. Centuries of watching their misdeeds from the inside, which always go unpunished and unchallenged by anyone except the powerless commoners, have taught you that there is always an ulterior motive lurking behind their actions.

Not to mention it came from Columbina.

You must've spent three days out there before finally returning to Wangshu Inn, dirtied by the elements and craving something to eat, like a child's insatiable desire for sweets. The dead of night provides a cover for you to take a dip in the water beside the inn in an attempt to rinse the dirt and sweat off of you. It dawns on you that your new clothes would've been ruined if you hadn't had the foresight to change before venturing out again. In that moment, thoughts of the Fatui and the memories evoked by your armour flooded your mind, and you didn't want the same thing to happen to the clothes that had made you so happy from the moment you put them on.

It feels childish how you cling to these things.

A part of you just can't help it, torn between holding onto the memories that define who you believe yourself to be and starting anew with a clean slate. Neither can win. One is stuck on the past and what little you have of it, and the other wants to abandon all of that and start completely fresh.

The half-compromise you are trying desperately to make work by accepting that what's gone is gone while keeping your armour close to your heart is obviously not working. The thought of discarding it pains you too much to actually do it, plagued by the urge to melt it down to scrap metal while also being overwhelmed by the knowledge you will regret doing that as soon as you see the mess that would be left of it.

Your new clothes make you happy, so you need more new things to make you even happier, right? If new means you glean happiness, then more new is what will help you move past all of this deliberation in your head.

Clothes were a given, and...maybe a haircut? Yeah. You should try cutting your hair and decide on a name for yourself that isn't Brighella. Something you want, a name you like, that you can look at yourself and see that person reflected in a mirror. The person you think you are supposed to be when you look past the expectation that has been instilled in you.

That merchant you spoke to mentioned the Adventurer's Guild might have a place for you. What if you should be helping people instead of hurting them? What if you only did that to please the Tsaritsa?

In the background of your thoughts, you walk yourself back to your room at the Wangshu Inn and collapse onto your bed, thinking. Though you are exhausted, you cannot bring yourself to sleep for one reason or another. You make excuses for yourself just to ignore the glaring root of the problem you know is there but refuse to acknowledge. The problem isn't really how hot or cold the room is or the texture of your blankets and how much you dislike the humidity in the air. Something else entirely is keeping you from rest.

Your hair isn't the problem either, or your clothes. Even your lack of a proper name really doesn't bother you. They're only the illusion of change you're using to cover up how truly lost you have become now that you have to think for yourself.

How long have you been alive now? Centuries at least. You can't even live independently after that long? No. No, you can't.

You are so lonely, you are lost, you are confused. You need company, you need guidance, and you need purpose. How are you supposed to live? Where is the person who will tell you what to do every day? 

You have to make that choice yourself? You can't do that. You've never done that. 

The thought of even something so basic scaring you so severely brings you to a weakness you never realised you even possessed. Fear surges through the very depths of your being, an unfamiliar sensation that you find unsettling. You don't like it, but it's an impossible feeling to push down and ignore. Over the years, you had quietly collected your shortcomings into a neat little jar and pushed it aside, out of sight, away from your conscious thought, as if pretending you were invincible. 

What would you have done if you had gotten to Capitano? Make him decide?

He can't. He's not human. He doesn't know enough to decide. You've only made him just like you, a fearsome man until he's abandoned and vulnerable like you have become, and then he'll be pathetic and helpless too.

Nothing came out of any of your efforts, did it? It couldn't have possibly. Even with every attempt you made, it was always doomed to fail.

-

It turns out that the Adventurer's Guild was more than happy to take you in, in a way. They put you right to work. It helps to take your mind off of things if nothing else. It's mindless work, able to tune out everything in your brain and run on auto-pilot. You take to this life so well it scares you, completing your tasks with so little trouble you wonder how this isn't more popular, even if some are arguably unnecessary. If only you were good at proper cooking, you might get rich from the tens of requests for certain dishes. 

You're irresistibly drawn to the combat, right back to the heat of battle where you feel truly alive. In all you've had to question, your love for the thrill of fighting has never been up for debate. You're unsure whether it's the adrenaline or something else, but you don't care to know, either. You don't concern yourself with such questions. It's not important to you why, so long as you find comfort in it. It's the one thing you cannot be robbed of. 

A hard day's work is always rewarding.

"Make sure you be careful today." A fellow adventurer is quick to catch you before you can wander off for your next quest, smiling and unbothered despite his words. You've never met him, but he speaks as if you have.

Something about the bond of adventurers is so reminiscent of the Fatui.

You turn back to place your full attention on him rather than the grilled tiger fish you had acquired out of curiosity about the taste. "Why's that?" You're not too bothered, expecting him to tell you that it's dangerous out there, the Abyss Order existing and all.

"The Fatui are restless."

His words catch you off-guard, light in tone as they are. In outward appearances, he's mostly unbothered, while the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

You try to grasp your bearings just enough to speak. "They don't do that for fun." Something about it is just as shaky as you expected, unable to fully mask it, but you figure he'll blame it on nerves.

"Harbinger, apparently." He doesn't draw attention to your demeanour, so neither do you.

"Which one?"

"Dunno."

It's probably Columbina. Maybe you pissed her off when you shot the messenger. Yeah, she probably wouldn't appreciate that. When you did it in a fit of anger, you expected her to find it funny after coming to your senses.

"Hey. Something wrong?"

You startle as you realise he had been speaking that whole time, and you just weren't listening.

"Sorry?"

"I said it's weird that they'd be up and about so soon after the newest was officially promoted."

You deadpan a little, realising it wasn't something of actual value, just a misconception that the greatest powers that be in Snezhnaya aren't spiteful enough to hate each other just as much as they hate everyone else. "Not really. They're not particularly sentimental."

"They don't even care to go out drinking for their own?"

"They hardly know how to tolerate each other." You realise your slip of the tongue too late, seeming too familiar. That's a problem. He barely draws attention to it, only making a strange face.

"Well, whatever the reason, work doesn't stop for them."

In silence, you agree and continue your day as if you really believe that.

-

As you wrap up your work for the day, you feel a sense of pleasant exhaustion wash over you. It struck you as strange that nobody was out in the wild, even the usual fatuus you avoid. Something about it was uniquely eerie. It dawns on you why he came to the conclusion that the Fatui were 'restless'. They must have retreated into the city to prepare for the impending arrival of the Harbinger destined to disrupt the small peace you had found. The sudden influx of fatuus in Liyue would make it seem like they are increasing in numbers nationwide when in reality, they are just moving.

You're not going to let it bother you for now.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you have promised yourself that repeatedly and have found it to be a lie, but you mean it this time. You're familiar enough with the workings of the Fatui to know that they don't like to leave sectors alone for too long, and Liyue had spent a fair time before your dismissal unchecked. 

Even at night, you remain unbothered when you wander Liyue for a time, looking for something to do and notice what he was talking about.

Many of them are fussing more than usual, meaning that chances are it's too late to inhibit the process of this Harbinger arriving. You could turn tail and run, scurry off to the other side of Teyvat and settle in Fontaine or even Natlan, but you like it here.

You sit in the heart of Liyue, listening to a speaker tell his stories. You know you shouldn't linger, but you tell yourself you can for just a little while longer. It reminds you of the past, filled with Liyue legends you remember hearing about as news at the time they took place. The fact these tales are now old enough to be suitable for a speaker's recitation as 'legends' is a grim reminder that maybe you're older than you realised. Your early life is now from the time of legends. You can push that feeling aside to focus on the nostalgia of hearing these stories.

Beside you, you hear the chair move but don't budge from looking to see who it is, assuming that all other chairs are taken or that it's an adventurer who got curious, possibly even the man you had spoken to earlier about all of the Fatui--

“Reminiscing, Brighella?”

You recognise both that voice and that name and go stiff, eyes finding her before your head can even turn in her direction.

In front of you—or rather, across from you—the Knave sits upon the other chair at your table as if she was always supposed to be there, seemingly at ease, but you know better than to assume her guard is down. Arlecchino has always had an icy composure, though she can be hot-headed at times and can lose her temper when provoked. It's not surprising that she was able to track you down, even without knowing what your face looks like.

She turns to you leisurely, unhurried. "I came to look for you since you missed the ceremony." It sounds like a greeting the way she speaks those words. You suppose it is one, really.

Ah, maybe you should've been worried after all.

You try to play off your emotions as if you're completely unfazed by her presence. It's the only way to maintain some semblance of control. "Did Columbina not like my gift?"

"Oh, she rather enjoyed it." Arlecchino maintains a similar composure, knowing approaching you in public means employing subtlety as much as it means she's less likely to be attacked. "She felt it was just the kind of gift you would give."

"I try my best not to disappoint." Your response is less enthusiastic than you might like, a hint of nervousness infesting your brain and refusing to budge.

Despite this, she doesn't notice, not outwardly. Really, that means nothing, as you are very aware of how good her poker face is. "Il Capitano hasn't stopped speaking about how much he'd like to kill you. You don't want to disappoint, do you?" When you were waiting for her to speak, those weren't the words you expected to hear, but somehow you're not fully surprised either.

"I see, so my lies reached even his ears." 

You thought as much.

"I think you'll be quite surprised when you see him." Her reply is so cocky that you almost scoff at her.

"Who said I would be seeing him?" You try to match the audacity she had to make such a remark.

She turns to you rather casually for the words she speaks, an odd tone you can't quite place, lacing her words half like mockery. "You miss him, don't you?"

It's that question that makes you snort and turn away as you realise that her negotiation and persuasion skills are abysmal for such a cunning and intelligent woman. "Not enough to become foolish enough to trust someone whose title denotes them as dishonest and untrustworthy." You always wondered about that, really. "A name like 'the Knave' really isn't subtle."

"Funny." She doesn't laugh or even smile. "I believe yours was something close to 'bother'."

You lean back in your chair, testing it slightly as you push the front legs off the floor as a means of entertaining yourself through this frankly dull conversation. "Then I suppose we're both living up to our names."

She remains silent for several seconds, pondering her next words. You can see her fingers rub against the wood of the chair as a distraction. 

"The others told me it was pointless to try to bring you back."

"They were right."

"You won't come back for any reason?"

"I know a trap when I see one."

"Of course."

Silence, again. You don't care to break it, either. You came to hear the stories, and you really would like to continue that rather than listening to her voice, but she's not making it easy.

"Is that all now?" Your voice shows your impatience more than you might like, but you realise it may work in your favour if she senses she's annoying you.

For the first time in a while, she smiles faintly to herself. "For now. Your answer is abundantly clear." She appears to concede, if only for a little while

You let the chair land back on all of its legs and lean your elbow on the table. 

"Are you going to get out of that chair?"

"No."

"And why is that?"

"It's comfortable."

The urge to roll your eyes brims in your mind, but you stop yourself. You don't want to give the Knave the satisfaction of knowing something she is already well aware of. Besides that, you don't want her to know that you really don't want her here in any capacity. Arlecchino's presence is never a good thing.

You let out a tentative breath as you consider your next words quite carefully. The wrong thing might have Arlecchino never leaving you, and the right one might drive her back to Snezhnaya if you're lucky. You shift your whole body to face her. "You just arrived from Snezhnaya, I take it. What do you want to eat?"

She eyes you suspiciously, scrutinising you for any sign of trying to fool her into consuming poison or making herself sick. "You're feeding me now?"

You pretend you don't notice her intensity. "Well, you're not leaving. It would look strange for me to order food for myself."

Again she smiles to herself, a light mockery that's cautious and testing, easing herself into accepting your offer. "I wasn't aware you cared so much."

"You could starve if you'd prefer." You turn away as you speak and don't look back, shifting yourself back in your seat to be front-facing.

There's a quietness between the two of you, both waiting for the answer to your proposal. You have an inkling Arlecchino will accept, but you don't know with her. She never seemed especially pleased by the times the Jester would convene you all over meals and such, ending up in fights and bickering. She never fought with you, however, so perhaps it's different. 

"Order whatever you like."

You find yourself looking intently at a list of the options on the menu. It's quite a lengthy list. "Mm..." Even though it's just a false invitation and you're doing it to be courteous, you can't say you aren't enjoying the thought of picking out a meal and sharing it with her. Despite your removal from the Fatui's affairs for some time, you'd be lying if you thought you weren't at least a little curious. "Jade Parcels...and maybe Jade Fruit Soup? But Dragon Beard Noodles sound good too..."

Becoming slightly irritated by your indecision, Arlecchino looks across the table to where you are sitting deep in thought. "Is it that complicated of a decision?"

You spare her only a glance before returning to looking for something she would enjoy. "I have to pick something you'll like, don't I?"

Soup is more challenging to share than noodles are.

With that, your decision is made, and you settle. Despite yourself, you are somewhat restless in thought. Arlecchino's lack of contribution is slightly frustrating, but it sounds like she'd be content with anything. You're not sure if your choice is the correct one, but you believe you picked something to the best of your abilities that is easy, even to a foreign tongue. As far as you know, Arlecchino is from Fontaine. You've never eaten like this with Arlecchino to know her tastes or dietary restrictions.

"Jade Parcels and Dragon Beard Noodles. Sound good?"

"It'll do."

"Good. I'll go order it, then."

Arlecchino must be surprised that you returned, as she doesn't seem too thrilled. She never really does, but there was a disappointed glint in her eye right up until you walked in front of her to get to your chair. 

It continues until you get the food, and Arlecchino finally stares at it with an overwhelming sense of dread, left with an intense feeling of apprehension regarding whether. You appear not to hesitate, though this arrangement isn't quite what she had expected. Arlecchino had thought you would order enough dishes that you wouldn't have to share, but you seemed to understand it in a way that meant you would be eating from the same bowl.

You notice her hesitation almost immediately, yet your vexation with her arrival makes you unwilling to acknowledge that you know the reason, a deliberate miscommunication on your part. "Mm. I didn't think this through." Your words seem to make her perk up as if you will free her from her awkwardness by asking for another bowl. "You probably aren't used to using chopsticks, are you? Not many dishes that need those back home."

She knows you're toying with her, that sweet smile from across the table hardly hiding your true intentions. Arlecchino waits, watching to see what you will do next, as she looks back at you with a scowl. 

Her eyes do not leave you as you wordlessly collect a Jade Parcel and present it to her like you are patronising her with this action. Your feigned kindness, this supposed benevolence of you offering to feed her like a child, no doubt hoping she'll back down and excuse herself completely. 

She won't let you do that and have the satisfaction of seeing her back down. She won't allow you to break her facade of acceptance.

Though you circle the food in front of her slowly, only a motion with your fingers trying to convince her or make her as uncomfortable as possible, Arlecchino continues to stare for several more moments. Eventually, she musters the courage to relinquish some of her pride.

Arlecchino leans in slightly, just enough to open her mouth and take a bite from the food you hold out for her. Despite the circumstances that led to this moment, she can't help but acknowledge your good taste. Arlecchino couldn't possibly eat another bite that way, though. Not being fed by the woman who is now her adversary just to avoid her 'winning' in the situation, but admitting she is willing to let you get under her skin is not an option either.

She must treat this situation differently, as if you are merely feeding her out of obligation to her rather than because you have your own motives.

It hardly stops her from enjoying her portion of the meal from the chopsticks you share with her. At some point, it finally occurs to her that you only hold one pair, leaving her set untouched despite feeding her. You had been feeding her with the same set you ate with the entire time, and while you were well aware of that, it hardly seemed to alarm you as much as it alarmed her.

Your biggest disappointment was being unable to get rid of her that whole time, watching her readily accept whatever you tried to use against her. Watching a Harbinger practically bow their head and obey you, however, fuels your consciousness. It's like eye candy to think back and realise you did that.

It's another one of your quiet defiances against the Tsaritsa. You wonder how far you can take it.

As you stand from your seat, you stretch your arms above your head until you hear a faint pop as all the tension in your back relaxes. "I don't imagine you'll be leaving anytime soon."

"No. I have plenty of business outside of you." It's not a lie. She's got a lot to do in Liyue even without your presence, but you're a priority. 

You lean back over your chair, a mischievous little look on your face. "Do tell."

"You know that I can't do that." She's not amused by the attempt, either.

You straighten back to your usual height and brush it off in moments. "Unfun. I thought your loyalty to the Tsaritsa could be won over easily." 

She scowls. "Not by you."

"I see. You have standards after all."

She chooses to ignore your comment. Up until now, you have had quick-fire conversations, sometimes interrupted by a silence that drags on. This is no exception.

"Capitano truly believes you are dead." Arlecchino realises when she has caught your attention, and that time is now. She notices how your head tilts towards her ever so slightly, and your head raises. "For a time, he grieved, but it didn't last long. He has become fixated on the idea of revenge ever since he heard that Brighella's killer was running around boasting about their achievements with the authentic armour to support their claims."

Suddenly it makes some small amount of sense in your mind why they would want you to come back exactly. Capitano won't stay put forever. If he's stuck on vengeance, he won't rest until he exacts it. You weren't thinking about how much your stories would piss him off at the time.

When you spend an extended period of time silent and seemingly disinclined to answer, Arlecchino continues. "I want to show you to him."

You have subjected him to human emotions he's not equipped to deal with. Rightfully, you feel horrible like more of your failures are being wrenched from your corner and dumped out into the open for all to see. It doesn't matter that you're in Liyue, where nobody knows the two of you. You don't want them to see either. 

"He wouldn't want to see me." You don't think she really wanted to hear those words when you finally speak. Her expression gives it away. "He should enjoy his position without my interference. I've ruined his life enough."

"You've given him power and status, he should be grateful for that--"

"No. He shouldn't." You don't even wait for her to finish. She hasn't even realised it yet. Not the way you've been forced to. That power is a detriment, not a blessing. Why should he want that? "I thought that way as well, but now I…I don't think my choice was the correct one."

Arlecchino was not expecting to evoke your vulnerability, shallow as it may be for now. "What choice?"

"To bring him back from the abyss." 

From a purely objective perspective, taking in Capitano was the cause of everything. Arlecchino presumably thinks of it in the way you don't want her to, that you regret taking him in because he ultimately ruined everything for you, causing your world to fall apart. You don't. You wish you hadn't dragged him down with you.

Now Capitano still dealing with the consequences of your choices. He was perfectly satisfied where he was and would've remained that way had he not been caught up in your plans. It was your arrogance that made you think Capitano would prefer to come with you. At no point in your first interaction had he indicated he was displeased in his circumstances, only hostile because humans were so close to him. It is an understandable thing, considering that humans were a foreign concept to him and potentially posed a threat.

"Because he overtook you?" 

There it is.

Despite her words, she appears to have dropped her irritated expression and the impatience in her words and actions. You are finally speaking, and she won't lose that opportunity to an avoidable break in her temper.

"No. No, nothing like that." You try to find the words to explain it, even knowing she likely wouldn't understand it in her current position. You doubt she could ever comprehend it with how she treats her loyalty. "It's more like… Off the record, though I was cherished for many years, even I eventually became disposable. I have left Capitano in the hands of the person who caused that, and now I have damned him to the same fate."

Arlecchino is silent in thought, mulling over your words with great care. The tone of the conversation shifted right under your noses, and with it, so did her demeanour. She became relaxed in a way, though you imagine no less guarded than she always is. "I fail to see how your performance declined. In fact, you are more necessary now than you have ever been."

"I see." In your head, that means she's on your side to a degree. "So you believe that my termination was a mistake?"

"A grave error at best." Her words only confirm the way you thought of it. "Even if you had declined in performance, the people have begun to question more than ever, which sabotages the political landscape of Snezhnaya for those who care about it, the same people who stood idly by while you were ousted. Those who oppose the Fatui are pushing the notion that we must be weaker than we appear, because if even Brighella could die, then what does that say for the rest of us."

Though you wish you could say that concept was inconceivable, the idea that those fighting for reform would seize upon your demise as a means to spur change. It's not shocking that everyone else has been called into question, either. Though it is easy to push the role of frontrunner onto the Director, his duty is mainly administrative, as is the case with many high-ranking positions. His wrath is quick and brutal, and sparse. Dottore is too busy with his disgusting hobbies, and Columbina must remain in the light as a figure they can cling to. That leaves the position of Fourth as the one who is publicly the most violent and ruthless, which used to fall to you.

"I see. Is that why they want me to come back?" You don't expect an honest answer as you ask that question, half anticipating another play at your heartstrings.

"No." 

Frustratingly, she doesn't elaborate.

"I'll only agree to return if Capitano is free to do as he wishes."

She scoffs, somewhat returning to her brash attitude. "Even if I could make that decision, we're well past the point where that's a possibility."

You know that she's correct in that.

Still, you can't stop the sight you let out. You knew the request was wonderful in theory but inconceivable in practice, but asking never hurt anyone. "Then what do you want from me? I take it that though I'm only a stagehand, my part in the theatre is not yet over."

"Is that how you see it?"

"Answer my question."

"Execution."

You pause at her answer.

"Execution?"

You're not even sure you heard her correctly. The execution of who? Brighella has already been put to death, and Capitano has barely warmed his seat among the Harbingers. Nobody left in this is worth killing, given the precarious nature of the Fatui's support in the aftermath of Brighella's murder. It was already unstable, and now things are just worse, with no better word to describe.

You doubt they made the decision lightly.

"Execution. Your execution for the murder of Brighella and crimes against the state."

Your nerves instantly spike again, and your guard is higher than ever. At any moment, you could need to draw your bow and fight her because even though you're unsure of how to treat this life, you're not ready to give it up. No foe has scared you before, and neither will the prospect of rebuilding from square one.

"I see, so you've come to extradite me."

"You read my intentions horribly. I'm impressed you managed to make it so far like that."

You furrow your brows in annoyance. "Then what?"

"The values of the Fatui no longer align with mine." The assertion draws your attention more than anything else. You have always been aware that she is unconcerned with the ideas of loyalty and honour, which you can't fault her for. Abiding by the code of honour the Tsaritsa instilled in you left you here.

You may be completely wrong, but she was so vague and doesn't seem to be waiting to say anything else. "Is this your way of telling me you're deserting the Fatui?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"You so happen to be someone I like." 

You're startled by that as well. As far as you were aware, the decision to do nothing in the face of your dismissal was unanimous. You thought Capitano was your only remaining ally. Even if she's the lowest ranking, that is not indicative of power in an objective sense but of authority. In a sense, she is the new 'you' of the Harbingers, as she always was to a degree. 

Blame for the disorder is shifting in your absence to her.

"Because I cleaned the messes you now manage?"

"Because you aren't cowardly and fixated on politics but inhibited by them. You are a model of what is right." You can't say you follow what she's saying but allow her to continue. "Pulcinella and even Pierro refuse to travel abroad, always making excuses to shirk their jobs when faced with danger in order to comfortably remain in luxury. From the day I joined, you stood out to me in that way."

You raise an eyebrow at her, unimpressed by whatever she's trying to do right now. "Are you trying to flatter me into coming back?"

"I was telling the truth." She doesn't look impressed, either.

You feel a little embarrassed by that, suddenly feeling as though you really had responded quite rudely to an innocent statement. "Hearing a person idolise me is strange," you admit.

"It's not idolising." Her correction is sharp.

"Sounded close enough."

Silence again, as with the pauses scattered around the rest of your conversation. You aren't catapulting the topic into something of great interest or progressing, and neither is Arlecchino. Her lips press into a thin line trying to hide any cracks and stifle any emotion that slips through.

"I admire you."

You did not realise such a thing was possible, really.

"I thought you may have remembered the times we shared and think fondly of it, but perhaps not. We fought once- maybe twice- before. We drank together. Nothing else."

To end that statement with 'nothing else' as if to reduce every conversation, interaction, hour and experience to ashes is thoughtless at best. You didn't remember either instance in which Arlecchino believes you fought and still don't, though you try to now that you have come to find it apparently happened. If it did, the chances of you actually remembering is slim to none with how your memory is. It's not that you forget things quickly, but that minor events slip through the cracks in your frankly chock-full memory.

"I don't remember them, I'm sorry."

"I didn't expect you to."

Despite her words, there is a faint bittersweetness to it, the realisation you are insignificant to the person you aspire toward being like. Somewhere, even if she is aware it was always not only a possibility but highly likely, it still feels like a letdown, the fragile hope you might remember her strength. You only remember her drunken and all too enamoured by you to think properly. It is foolish of her to feel that way because you have battled many foes, and expecting you to remember all of them, let alone your underling, is unreasonable.

"You still haven't answered my question." Changing the topic, you take the opportunity to try to direct her back to what you asked in the first place. "Why are you really here?"

"The Jester gave me permission to pursue you, believing I would attempt to convince you to return to Snezhnaya after Columbina failed." As Arlecchino begins to explain, it slowly begins to make sense as the pieces fall neatly into place. "However, I have no interest in appeasing the wants of dignitaries who care only for their comfort."

You don't want that either. It's just a repeat of Capitano. "Do you understand how dangerous what you're doing is?" It's an attempt to remind her, but Arlecchino's unwavering expression tells you that reminders are unnecessary and unwanted.

"Yes, you were removed for less." She only confirms it for you. "Dottore is of the opinion that you will be forgotten, as are several others-" you imagine singling him out has something to do with them fighting all the time- "but that is simply impossible."

"Times change. You would be surprised how many things we thought would never be forgotten that humans have completely lost all knowledge of."

To her, that concept may be harder to swallow. Arlecchino has never seen the centuries roll by as you have and isn't as familiar with what does and does not remain. Even the greatest gods fell in the Archon War, and most humans cannot name any but the seven Archons. It is natural to forget and progress. The past is meant to become speculation and theory.

"I won't allow that." Abruptly she stops, though her sudden words startle you somewhat with how intense they are. That kind of illogical thought process is natural, maybe. You can't really say. "They could remember."

You shake your head in response, a firm denial before she's even begun to try and sell you on the idea. "There's no need for them to remember."

"There is every need."

"People don't glean the same admiration you do for someone they see as a tyrant."

"Then evoke fear!"

"Enough." You did not expect to have to put your foot down so harshly but do not hesitate to. "I won't entertain this."

Arlecchino grits her teeth at how easily you let go. Even though you are obviously not acclimated to civilian life, you refuse her offer that would allow you to return to Snezhnaya in a potential position of power. It is yet another failed step in the many she expected to have to take to convince you.

"Then let me hide you until some time passes."

"I'm not a precious treasure." She ignores how you roll your eyes at her, completely withdrawing how emotionally available you had managed to be. She can't let her anger take control of her again. "I can handle myself thank you very much." 

You sense she will not be giving up easily.

Even if you could convince her to leave you to your devices and that you would be fine, you doubt she would accept that. However, you have a feeling she knows you intend to disappear after this conversation. You have no idea why else she would pour her heart out in an attempt to make you easier to keep hold of. If you leave, you hold the advantage.

"I cannot continue to defend your honour while you stand by and allow them to do as they please with your name."

That doesn't worry you too much when you've been contributing to it since leaving. "Then give up. Let my name be tarnished."

Arlecchno's anger finally begins to boil over despite her efforts to contain it, rage spilling from the cracks in her composure. "You cannot have forgotten everything we did together."

"Of course I have not forgotten that." Your words are more fuel than suffocation to the growing fire.

"Then accept my help and stop being so stubborn."

"There's no need to."

She grabs you by your arm before you can step away, and you can feel a chill in her hand seep into your skin, likely a byproduct of her delusion. It doesn't hurt, but it doesn't match well with how warm you are most of the time. "You would be willing to pretend you don't wish for normalcy to avoid confronting the Tsaritsa?"

"If I return to Snezhnaya, I will die." You lay it out as directly as possible, without an if, but or and. There's no room to debate this because the outcome will not change. Even if the two of you decide you're best friends, nobody else will see things that way, so it's pointless to pretend you don't see it as it has to be.

Arlecchino finally appears to consider your words more carefully, remaining silent again, but you do not interrupt her this time. You shift your focus to the icy hand still touching you and begin to channel what little you can of your vision without drawing your bow to warm her. You hope she doesn't notice it, not wanting her to find an ulterior motive in it.

"Then it is unavoidable."

You don't quite understand what she is saying until she removes her hand from you to place something on the table you shared.

Suspiciously, you eye the item as you wonder about the significance of abandoning it beyond the obvious, but you don't want to acknowledge that option. "You'll need your insignia if you wish to return." You needn't remind her of that, but it is a prompting statement.

Arlecchino shocks you with her next words.

"I'm remaining with you."

You stand in stunned silence for several seconds, replaying them over in your head. Remaining with you. She doesn't mean that, does she? This is another of her persuasion tactics, right? She cannot actually go through with this. "You're what?"

"I'm not going back to Snezhnaya."

That only confirms your fear, the chill of it rushing to the core of your being and lighting your nerves up with an icy cold. Maybe that's just the hand touching your cheek.

"You can't. You shouldn't. You should stay there."

She makes an odd face at you, half understanding of your plight and the other confused about why you care so much about what she does with her job. "In that place you curse yourself for leaving Capitano?"

"It's a comfortable position." You try to reason that way with her, pointing out the inarguable benefit.

"I don't care for comfort."

You scramble to find another reason, something else to make her give in and pick it back up. You have not gotten anything you attempted to get this night. Arlecchino didn't leave and is, in fact, intent on leaving the Fatui to continue that.

"I don't care to waste my time pandering to people who do not value what I provide for them, all the while relying on it."

That's not a reason you wish to say, but it is. It is a very real reason. You can see it in how the Fatui regards your circumstances that they have never found enough value in the mountain of work you took on. If they had, you wouldn't be having this conversation. She's right, you realise, she realised what you could not.

"Even if you do not allow it, I would be able to follow you." It's a strange thing to say, but maybe she was trying to convince you. Her arm falls back to her side.

You shake your head. "Humans tire."

"I won't be too slow."

It's different for her. Arlecchino doesn't hulk around a bulky suit of armour and a helmet to conceal her face. It is open and well-known. There will be places she can't ever travel to again. Her life will be this and nothing else, while yours will eventually become something else, as it was always supposed to. Even if you don't want to now, you will move on and find a new sense of self. She may never.

"There are grave consequences."

"I know."

"You may never know peace."

"I can live with that."

"You--" 

--will question everything you have ever known. That was what you were about to say. You again come to a realisation that clears things for you. It's different. Arlecchino has not spent her whole life dedicated to serving the Tsaritsa, only a few years at best. You spent centuries. It is no wonder that she could give it all up so easily. Arlecchino only had one foot in the door in the first place.

The realisation dawning on you this way is daunting.

"...Fine. I will accept that." Though you thought you would struggle more, you also understand that it is useless to do so.

"A good choice."

The act of conceding can bring about a sense of relief and comfort. Conceding feels nice, in a way. It is a respite from constantly controlling everything to be exactly as you wish. It allows you the freedom of simply acknowledging the reality of a situation and accept that it may not align with your ideals, even if you don't necessarily like it.

You don't want Arlecchino to accompany you for her sake, but accepting that she will not share your fate of being humiliated can bring about a sense of peace. She will live however she pleases, and that means she may not want for the same future you received. Having a free will allows her to leave.

Slowly, you try to recover from the shock of the situation. As you take in a deep, quivering breath, you begin to steady yourself and attemt to process all that is unfolding.

A single question comes to your mind, a relatively simple one but significant enough to matter greatly.

"What is your name?"

CROSSPOSTED ON AO3

[sugudoe]

HI I am literally OBSESSED with your works and wanted to send in a match-up request after lurking for a hot minute <333 Please and thank you!! You are awesome!!!

I use she/her pronouns, and I'm of pretty average height with a pear-shaped body type. I have thick, wavy brown hair and moles all over my body. I wear thick plastic glasses and wear loose, comfortable clothes.

My personality type is INTP, though I'd describe myself as an ambivert. I really like talking to people, I just have a limited social battery and (medicated) anxiety. In public I'm cracking jokes pretty much all the time because I love making people laugh (I also think my jokes are funny asf so I'm usually laughing too). At home I just want to cuddle my cat and quietly recharge (parallel play rules!!). Also, if it matters, I'm a Pisces!

My hobbies include: playing guitar, D&D, reading comics and manga, and playing video games (though I'm lowkey bad at them). Mostly, I'm into nerd shit. I get really excited when I get to share it with someone, especially when they're just as into it!

I'm an adult, so I would appreciate if you could match me up with an adult too. Thank you again! Pls take your time writing this if you choose to and be well <3 looking forward to your next SMAU!

first of all, thank you for putting your pronouns and telling me to not pair you with a minor, sometimes i have to scratch my head with the other matches, fearing i might do something wrong or uncomfortable. anyways, thank you for enjoying my work, it means the world to me! hope you enjoy this!!

✶ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: geto suguru

How wonderful and scary it is to be your most vulnerable self with someone else? Geto Suguru had always hold his emotions into the deepest parts of his soul, trembling in fear of the face others would give when seeing his pure self. He should know that there is no way to hide himself from you, his best friend.

To his credit, he tries, at first. Holding his hands in a fist, letting his stoic voice shake while he recounts his life as of lately. That’s so out of character for him, it takes you no more than a second to hug him, desperately.

Truth be admitted, Geto crumbled into your arms and cried, cried. . . cried. Until, he begged you to take his mind away from this cruel world, let him be lighted by your presence, do whatever it takes.

And that’s what you do. Grabbing your guitar, you decide to stroke some chords, the soft melody blending with his quiet hiccups, before you decide to teach him to play.

“You have always looked like the type of guy to play guitar.” You mumble while you’re positioning your fingers on top of his. Geto laughs.

It’s like giving him medicine, if the world seems too chaotic, and his thoughts are spiraling terribly, he grabs your guitar. His emotions gallop around your room in the form of melodies, you dare not complain.

Suguru takes attention in other things you do, copying your way to cease his fears, have new hobbies and avoid the voices and fears plaguing his mind. He reads comics with you, even growing red in the face when you both disagree on a plot or losing a game. Unfortunately, he draws the line at D&D, not because it’s not his cup of tea, it’s just when you start to teach him how to play, his mind goes blank — not for bad reasons, his focus and thoughts goes only to you.

Your way of fixing your glasses, hands moving while explaining the game, your beautiful voice. And, once, you used a shirt that presented your upper body moles for him, and how beautiful it seems to be crafted with dozens of constellations, like a designed creature made by the universe itself. In that moment, he knew you were not his world, but much better you’re his whole sky, shinning bright the light of millions of stars.

He kisses you while you explained your character he could barely record the name.

It’s a habit he takes while your relationship is blooming and it will last until your very last breath. When you talk happily of your interests, and you move a certain way or the breeze flows into your body, he will kiss you, and you’ll let him. Geto kisses, specially, after your jokes, and he could get drunk on the sight of your lovesick smile mixed with your sweet laugh.

It shakes him. Your whole essence and presence, it all shakes Geto Suguru to a crazy extent. It can be admitted that love with him can be intense, but none of you would pick any other way.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ FUN FACTS.

◛ ₊· geto loves you to a whole extent, that being said, he would fight you for the chance to cuddle your cat.

◛ ₊· said cat also has a thing for your boyfriend, much rather preferring to be on his lap during hours to no end.

◛ ₊· you go to sleep and wake up in the same way everyday, peacefully into his loving arms, and his hands are always tracing your moles. he has been doing it for such a long time that he has them all memorized.

◛ ₊· if you leave your glasses anywhere and suddenly they are missing, chances are your boyfriend is using them and acting as if not. or maybe he forgets, he should be going to an eye doctor, actually.

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

i would like to be in and foster an online environment in which discussions abt controversial topics can be handled civilly without ppl ganging up and sending an influx of anon hate. i think internet in general is a space where ppl love to be outraged and i want to challenge that. that's partially why i wrote this fic. i am tired of purity culture and of fandom/online hivemind. in a fandom where a lot of ppl clearly enjoy age gap ships, i say, what makes one better and more "morally correct" than another? what makes a sugar mommy au better than a college student x teacher fic? so many fics featuring dark themes are popular in this fandom (don't wanna name any names bc i don't wanna get anyone involved), but THIS is the one ppl are upset about?

i wanna ask a question -- is it possible to write a fic where ppl are NOT morally pure but still somehow manage to live and find happiness? why is it forbidden to explore those themes in fiction? when you look at ppl in real life and how weirdly their lives shape up, and how ppl are flawed and make mistakes and live unconventionally or sometimes immorally or unhealthily, doesn't that interest you? in a sense that you would like to read about it? explore what goes on in the minds of these ppl/characters?

ppl forget exploring a theme in fiction doesn't equate to condoning it in real life. each individual has to use their own best judgement when consuming a piece of fiction. i assume everyone reading my fic is an adult (as i write fics intended for adult audiences) and can form their own opinion.

i would like it if people could use their reading comprehension and critical thinking skills when reading my fiction, without me having to put up exact and specific 1826372929392 word disclaimers, so ppl's fragile feelings wouldn't get hurt. would it really be okay if i wrote in all caps before the story WEDNESDAY IS 22? you could have read the first paragraph and figured that out. i tagged it as teacher-student bc it's playing with the concept, even if they are not a student/teacher in the timeline of the story. i use implied underage sex as a tag bc in the 2nd chapter, and repeatedly throughout the story i reference larissa and morticia's relationship, that has occurred when they were underage. i mention that they engaged in sex. it is only mentioned, and not explicitly described. do you need me to write all of that out under the title in order not to send anon hate and clutch your pearls in disgust? or can you just read the story and decide if it's for you or not?

i implore you to read all of my works as a story, without attaching a moral judgement to characters' actions. if and when you do attach a moral judgement and form an opinion, pls remember those are fictional characters, and i am an author exploring certain themes bc i can and it interests me to do so. i want to write unconventional stories, controversial stories, romantic stories, funny stories, horror stories, i want to explore everything. everybody who reads is invited to look at them as a piece of fiction they can enjoy or not enjoy, and nothing more. i hope to take you on a journey that leaves you with something to remember, good or bad, but impactful.

from now on, i will probably write longer works and venture into darker themes (next thing i'm planning is murder mystery/thriller). there will still be fluffy pieces, but i just want to push myself out of my comfort zone. i would like to associate with fandom ppl who are open-minded and can read a piece of fiction without going ballistic. if you look at things black and white, you likely won't like my fiction -- and that's okay.

however, if for any reason you want to send me hate, you will absolutely be blocked. i am a person, and i do not deserve insults and rudeness in my inbox. it's easy to feel empowered and feel like you're fighting for A Cause (TM) and attach the Bad Guy etiquette to a single person. that can feel like you're solving something. esp when ppl accuse me of promoting actual p3dophilia -- that's a cause everyone can get behind. banish the evil p3do apologist!

i am a victim of child sexual abuse, that went on all throughout my formative years, and into my adult age, simply because i thought that's how it must be. that experience has scarred me beyond belief. i don't want to share the details. it's not smth i'm sharing for pity points, nor do i need anyone's sympathy. however, it is an experience that has shaped who i am, and perhaps for that reason, combined with other things, is why i'm drawn to certain themes in fiction. i don't owe anybody an explanation as to why i choose certain topics, but since there have been idiots in my inbox who have accused me of harming victims of minor sexual abuse, i feel compelled to say something. fuck you for using a group of suffering ppl to support your own flimsy arguments born out of puritanism and inability to cope with heavy themes in fiction.

you are absolutely welcome to CIVILLY discuss your opinions about the fic with me -- off anon, exclusively. but i know nobody will, bc this isn't about the actual contents of my fic, this is about the delicious morally righteous thrill of a witch hunt.

enjoy the fic. i will post next wednesday.

[steviebbboi]

Red (Chapter 02)

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Original Female Character

Summary:

Eleana Harlow (Ellie) is an Enhanced Individual turned Avenger. She's also Steve's everything. She just doesn't really know it yet.

Warnings: non-canon, slight canon divergence, sorta established relationship, OFC has powers and is POWERful, enhanced!reader, protectiveSteve!, softDom!Steve, steve and OFC are intimate, angst, eventual smut, friend(ish) to lovers, mentions of mental health issues and PTSD, mentions of dissociative episodes, mentions of violence/death but its not too explicit. (* indicates chapters containing smut)

Would love some feedback, and any reblogs and comments are appreciated! MINORS DNI - DO NOT read unless you're 18+ thank you!

DISCLAIMER NOTE:

I don't give permission for anyone to post this work on any other platform. This only exists on Ao3 AND now Tumblr (5/29/24), so pls don't copy/paste. Also, I don't own any of the Marvel universe (I wish). All of my works are also unbeta'd so please be kind, and apologies for any edit mishaps.

Chapter 02. Fire Hazard

“Well, took you long enough. Was about to send the Iron Legion on your ass for that core spike. But most importantly, to check on my coffee.” Tony piped as she exited the elevator into the common space of the tower. 

Ellie rolled her eyes and replied, “Stark, even if you did send the Legion, they would’ve only found me reducing my core temperature. Like I was trained to do, remember?” The latter half of her inquiry laced with sarcasm. 

The team knew that she was more than capable of managing her heat spikes. The StarkWatch was programmed to alert everyone on the team when her core temperature went over the regular temperature of the human body. In a normal human’s case, it would be 98.6F. In Ellie’s case, her threshold stood over 110F. 

Ellie’s time training with SHIELD involved intensive mindfulness breathing exercises and various other grounding skills to be able to manage her own body temperature. She understood the power of breath and how she uses it determines how she regulates not only her body, but her mind. A necessity for an Enhanced individual like Ellie. 

In that moment, Ellie thought back to how a former SHIELD therapist once described it within a written profile and scoffed to herself. “The Enhanced individual requires down regulating skills due to their reported extensive trauma history and poor ability to control stated Enhancements. The Enhanced individual is recommended weekly psychotherapy, physical therapy, and pyro-kinesthetics training. The Enhanced individual is not currently recommended for field work. Further to be assessed.” 

Ellie darkly chuckled to herself quietly at the morose characterization. “Well, he wasn’t wrong.” 

Tony took his coffee from her outstretched hand and said with a more serious tone, “That StarkWatch is there to save lives, Dante. Not just theirs, but yours. Like it's trained to do, remember?” 

Ellie smirked at the attempted joviality, “Yes, I know, Stark. Don’t get all weepy on me now.” She did appreciate how Tony and the others cared about her. Despite her own self-loathing, she wasn’t an apathetic monster. Far from it, she enjoyed being needed, especially knowing that her team trusts her to watch their back- as she does them. It helps her heal.

Tony chuckled and whatever tension that was there had left. “Not a chance. My tears would disassemble the team once they realized it would heal the world. Figured that we still may need your fiery goddess-like powers to put out some flames.” 

Looking behind you, he smirked dramatically, “Ah, incoming- here comes a hazard now!” Recognizing his less than subtle warning, associated with the familiar loud footsteps, Ellie sighed deeper and cringed. She turned around knowing exactly what to expect.

In all his stature and glory, Steve Rogers was a commanding force in every room that he entered. Standing tall at his full height, shoulders back and broad, his handsome face slight with a frown - he walked towards Ellie with intention in his dark gaze. He was wearing his training gear and exuded power and a determined energy. Ellie clamped her lips together before she let out another exasperated sigh. “Why does he have to look so good during moments like this?” she annoyingly thought to herself. 

“Friday, you were supposed to let me know when to clear the room! ” Ellie whispered angrily to the ceiling.

“Apologies, Agent Harlow. Captain Rogers had overridden your command after your last core temperature alarm.”

Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes, “Of course, he did.” She whispered now to herself. Looking at Steve’s face as he got closer, she can see that he also didn’t appreciate the secret command that she gave to Friday should this ever happen again. 

“Steve, you already know–” she began to explain. It was always like this when her heat spiked. With the notification going to every member of the team, she was always met with concerned check-in’s from her friends. The captain, however, always came in with concern and frustration. As team leader, Steve didn’t particularly enjoy it when one of his teammate’s were in danger, to others or themselves. More specifically, Steve didn’t like knowing that Ellie was in danger, period. 

Steve interrupted her before she could even start to console him. “Ellie, I know that you know what to do should your temperature ever spike. But this is the fourth time this month. It used to be once every six months. I let you avoid it the last time but not anymore. What’s going on?” He stopped in front of her with his hands on his hips. Now that he was closer, she could see more worry in his eyes than anger. 

He resembled a scolding figure if she ever saw one. Her frustration peaked when she felt her initial intention to dismiss his concern had now disappeared when she noticed the sincerity of his inquiry. She knew that the super soldier was just looking after her. The first time that her core heat had risen over the past month, concern was there but was dismissed due to the fact that it had historically spiked sporadically. But then it happened again the next week. And then the following week. And then today. 

Ellie knew that the episodes were triggering it. It was almost the anniversary of the incident, and she knew that the episodes were frequent when it was coming close to the date. She just didn’t like to admit it because she should have been healed by now. She shouldn’t be this impacted by it anymore. 

In her own head, now paired with the guilt for making the others- Steve, worry, Ellie frowned and put her hand to her furrowed brow. A headache brewing out of frustration with herself. She let out a heavy sigh that carried weight that the super soldier could understand. 

“Hey,” Steve implored softly and gently gripped her arms. “We’re just worried about you, Red. You know that you can tell me anything.” 

At his touch, Ellie flushed and her entire body seemed to relax before she could even consciously recognize it. The brewing headache seemed to dissipate. His words washed over her with a familiar nurturing comfort that she always received from Steve. 

Red. A name that only Steve was allowed to call her. Barton tried to call her that once before when they were on the quinjet on their way to a mission. The long, silent look that Steve sent him was intimidating enough to quiet the whole hull. It was an instantaneous reaction and she didn’t think that Steve even remembered doing it to this day. But that was the last time that anyone had ever attempted to say it. 

Ellie let out another sigh and admitted with closed eyes, “The episodes…they’ve been more frequent the past few weeks.” A burning discomfort floated back into her body as she confessed. 

Steve caught Tony’s eyes behind her and the tech genius only pursed his lips in understanding. His usual quipped humor silenced, he took his coffee and left the room. Giving the two remaining Avengers the privacy that even Tony Stark could recognize and respect. 

With the two standing there in a muted silence, Steve broke it by squeezing her arms gently. At the additive touch, her eyes opened. Brown eyes filled with sadness and resentment matched a bright, soft, and caring blue gaze. “The anniversary is the beginning of next month.” He stated, understanding laced in his tone.

Ellie trusted, respected, and cared for all of her teammates. Her gratitude extended from the very first time that she had ever met them, worked with them, and gotten to know them. It’s only been 3 years since she officially joined the Avengers team but it felt like decades. When you go through these missions, these intense and traumatic world-shifting events, you’re going to learn all that there is to know about respecting life. And the members on the team understood that and each other in ways that nobody else ever could. 

But Steve– oh, Steve. He was a man out of time. He understood more than anyone what it was like to have had, to take, and to lose. Family. Friends. A first love. Just like she did. Through his transformation, he had to find himself again in the purest, but sometimes, most painful of ways. He had to learn to adapt to a new world. Just like she did. She and Steve were able to understand each other in ways that the other team members couldn’t. And that wasn’t an observation, nor was it a cold or isolating fact. It just was. 

This connection brought them closer over the years, and maybe in ways that the other team members could observe, and the two people in question couldn’t. 

After the mention of the anniversary, Ellie released a relieving breath. Her breathing skills now kicked in as she forced herself to regulate. She never felt more vulnerable than whenever she had to talk about the incident. Even with Steve.

Noticing this, Steve knew that it was his cue, and rubbed his hands over her arms slowly. His thumbs slowly circled her soft skin at the same time. He took the next breath with her.

“That’s it, Red. You’re okay.” He whispered and brought her closer to his chest. Their height difference put her forehead to perfectly land just underneath his collar bone. Appreciating the co-regulation, Ellie felt her hands grip Steve’s biceps in attempts to continue grounding. He was her rock. A domineering but calm force that she knew would help her move through her symptoms. 

It was like that for a couple of minutes. Steve kept whispering his reassurances, I’m with you, Red. You’re okay, El. All the while, she put her entire weight on him, her hands that were gripping his arms now tightened as she finally broke down. She didn’t want it to get to this point. She felt like a burden to the team, to Steve, and a burden to herself. But relief was all that she felt. To be able to just cry and not be judged for it. To hug someone and to feel them hug you back. It’s what she needed, and Steve gladly gave it to her.

Now hugging her to him, Steve readjusted their position and now had one arm around her waist, rubbing circles on her back. The other hand resting on the back of her neck underneath her hair. Ellie gripped the back of his shoulders like a lifeline. It always feels this intense, for some reason. It’s almost as if the incident happened just yesterday. 

A minute or two passed and Ellie’s soft sobs quieted down into short sniffles. Steve took this as another cue to check in and put enough space between them for him to catch her eye. He kept his hands around her waist and neck, prepared to bring her back in closer to him should she still need him to do so. 

Even though her eyes were now shiny, red, and slightly puffy, Steve’s empathy shined through as he met her calm and content gaze. “Hi, there.” He offered with a small grin. 

Ellie sniffled a little before returning his smile with a genuine smile of her own. “Hi, Steve.” Finally coming back into herself after a much needed emotional release, she detached herself from Steve. Not completely so but just to rest her hands on his chest while his shifted down her back. 

“How do you feel?” He asked with concern still apparent in his voice. She nodded her head slightly and said, “Better.” He softly grinned and let out a good while his right hand left her waist to caress her cheek with the back of his fingers before putting her hair behind her ear carefully. She smiled more at the care through his actions. 

Unbeknownst to Steve, he was gazing at her with a look that she will never tire of seeing upon his face. While they were always close, physical signs of affection took time to foster between the two. Ellie flushed and smiled slightly every time Steve either caressed her cheek, stroked her hair, gave her a hug or rubbed her arm, or waist. But she never denied it. She welcomed his touch happily and appreciated the soft gaze that was associated with it. 

Ellie liked to believe that his gaze held something more than just a quick look. She would like to believe it's because he saw her as more than a teammate, or even a friend, caring for another. It was personally nurturing, protecting. A softness that only seemed to be reserved for her. Naturally, it felt intimate and romantic - the way that he would look at her sometimes. He never seemed bothered by it after he initiated it, nor did she call him out on it. If she had to continue to take from him- soft touches and protective gazes she would blissfully take from Steve. 

“You can’t let yourself bottle it all in, Red. Dr. Winsherr said that the episodes will never really just fade away. No matter how much time has passed, with PTSD, it will take its time.” Steve said to her gently. Ellie looked down at her hands on his chest and let out a reluctant but agreeable mhm. She often dismissed her own mental health for the sake of her having to prove that she was strong enough or tough enough to handle her symptoms by herself. She knew it was futile to avoid her problems, but she was still working through accepting her post-trauma experience.

“Hey, you with me?” Steve nudged and squeezed at her waist again to capture her attention. Snapping her eyes from his chest to meet his, she nodded and affirmed. “I’m with you, Steve. I know. It takes time.”

Ellie knew. Of course she knew. And she knew that Steve knew because he still experiences his own episodes from time to time. Naturally, the Star Spangled Man with a plan was naturally more adaptive than she was and was able to practice his acceptance skills more easily. He still has his moments where he reverts back to the plane crash, feeling the cold water envelop his frozen body but conscious mind, or to witnessing Bucky fall to his death. Those were moments that she was there for him though. And she gladly gave just as much Steve gave today.

“Right. Do you have an appointment scheduled with Dr. Winsherr yet?” He prodded gently. He didn’t want to push her but he knew that in moments like this, therapy could offer her a space that maybe he couldn’t. 

She recognized his prying with a cheeky grin but appreciated him asking, nonetheless. “Yes, Mother Hen, I have it scheduled for next Friday.” Steve jokingly rolled his eyes at her quip and gave her one last squeeze on her hips before letting her go. Ellie also dropped her hands from his chest reluctantly, already missing his firm embrace. 

“Good. I’m glad. You know that all we want for you is to feel capable and to protect yourself. Those alerts happen for a reason, you know.” He continued on. Now she jokingly rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. The StarkWatch is there to protect others and myself, blah blah.” Echoing Tony’s earlier sentiment back to Steve.

“Protecting others means us too.” Steve caught and spoke firmly. “If anything happened to you, Red…” he paused and continued with a darker tint to his gaze, “I’m not sure what I would do.” Her eyes widened a bit at the sudden vulnerability. It’s not because he was saying that he was scared of her, or merely worried about his team’s safety. But, because he was scared to lose her. This was a first for the both of them, to be so honest about where they stand in regards to how important they were to each other. It was mostly shown through actions. But this was through actual words.

“ Steve…” That was all Ellie could breathe out. The roles reversed and now Steve flushed, almost as if he didn’t even catch what he said until he saw her reaction. “We would all be lost without you, Red. So just make sure that you take care of yourself, okay, can you do that for us?” For me, was underneath that request. 

Ellie noticed the shift of energy and desired to cling onto it for another second. Taking a risk, she replied, “I can do that, for you, Steve.” 

Steve’s breath now hitched slightly at her response. It was exactly what he wanted to hear. His eyes grew warmer as he looked down at her. It was quiet between them now. Until Steve reached out once more with his right hand to caress the very same cheek that he had just a moment ago. She met the movement with her own by leaning into his hand until he was able to cup her cheek completely. 

“You know that we’re going to have to talk about this sometime, El." Steve whispered with his face closer to hers. Their faces were so close that they could feel each other’s breath on their skin. 

“Talk about what?” She whispered back, mesmerized by his blue eyes, her gaze still on his as she felt his other arm go back around her waist to pull her body closer to his. She hooked her arm underneath his again to clutch onto the back of his shoulder. Her other arm went around his waist to anchor herself to him. Their embrace was so intimate that there was no mistaking the energy in the room shifting into something different. Something new. 

“You know what, Red.” Steve said with a knowing tone. His nose softly nuzzled her own as her eyes unconsciously drifted shut at the sultry tone of his words. His lips were so close to brushing hers. She could practically feel his lips on hers. Almost anticipating it. 

Of course, again, Ellie knew exactly what Steve was talking about. Their increased physical contact also initiated something new between the two Avengers. An intimacy. A romantic energy that was so charged that it made Ellie’s blood rush and pool to her heavy beating heart, and to other parts of her body that were just criminal. Her body ached with a charge that she knew only Steve would be able to satiate. 

It began six months ago when they returned from an intense mission. It was a particularly rough mission. Ellie had to use her powers, which was not worrisome of course. What was worrisome was that she had a harder time pulling back on this mission. 

Her abilities included being able to absorb, manipulate, and manifest fire. She could not only generate fire from her own body, but she could also smother them. However, the use of her powers always came with some cost.

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[what-the-stories-have-foretold]

Damn my phone must be broke ,this is the 4 time I tried to send this to you but it keeps glitching 😭

Anyways, i hope you have a good day !

Last time you told me I was free to tell you about my thoughts of my favourite Character ,so here I am ,again. :D

You really inspired me so i got this Idea :D I hope you like it !I would love to hear you’re thoughts of it because I love to image things like that a lot and I thought about posting it ,but I am too scared 🥲bc I am obv not as good as you are but hey a master has never fallen from a sky (a German sentence pls don’t ask)

So

Image Rei Furuya with a Author s/o ,they love to listen to music and image things ,read books and fanfic a lot. They probably met at first when we maybe ,got out to get fresh air in our lungs and went to the dog park where we met Amuro with his cute dog.And he ask us if we were alright because we looked like we haven’t slept in days (-/////-)

Or we‘re a regular customer at the poirot.Always eating his great sandwiches and searching for inspiration for our new book ,where we saw him(obviously he is just perfect) We sit there silently admiring him while trying to look like we would work on our laptop . 😭❤️ I hope you like it ! Have a good night and stay hydrated <33

Noooo. Literally, just try writing if you want to. You´ll get better with practice, and maybe you´ll even be surprised at how good it turns out already! If you are too worried, you can start writing privately and when you find the confidence, you can start posting then. Whatever you feel comfortable with!!!

Also, yes!!! I´m a sucker for these tropes with an author!reader with a partner who is working really dangerous jobs and can thus give them tips.

Just like: "Hey Rei, how can I write a murder that is realistic?" or "Shuichi, how do I describe a typical mission for a sniper?" and they´ll be so happy to help. Though they will tell you to be careful when someone asks where you got that information from. Just say "lots of research" since he doesn´t need anyone figuring him out.

Also, I think Rei is really big into health (unless it´s about him. He´s shit at taking care of himself pls do it for him) so maybe he´s so used to seeing your cute face in the café, but you´ve been looking so tired lately. And when he sees you in the park, he gets worried and takes you to Poirot to make you your favourite drink, maybe with a shot of espresso (if you, like me, don´t like coffee, he´ll mix it well enough so you don´t taste it) to help you wake up. He makes you tell him what´s going on and then forces you to sleep more. Though he does offer to help you with some scenes that would require research since he has incredibly vast knowledge (and if he doesn´t know something he´ll stay up really late to find it out for you, though he won´t rly tell you that. Again, he´s into health unless it´s about his own well-being...)

[toruro]

sending in my lists and scenarios but its not a scenario it's just what anime character do you think each member is most like (w/ explainations pls hehe)

it doesn't have to all be from the same anime just in general, also getting back in my anime phase but maybe ill send an actual scenario later

svt as anime characters

literally pulled up myanimelist for this ... retrieving memeories from the 100+ anime i've watched and now i feel like a nerd.

seungcheol — chrollo from hxh in the sense that they're both leaders and above all, they prioritize the group. thinking of when cheol said the members are more important to him than the company & when chrollo said that keeping the group intact is more important than his life

jeonghan — howl from howl's moving castle i refuse to elaborate

joshua — this was actually so hard but i think sugawara from haikyuu like he's nurturing ... but also super chaotic and good at hiding it

jun — lev from haikyuu ... they're both tall, cute, funny, and kinda weird jdksdnjks

soonyoung — i feel like the only fitting respond is naruto ?! they're both so passionate and dedicated to what they do, and they clearly have a lot of care for others around them even if they have funny ways of showing it also furry

wonwoo — guys i know it's kind of stereotypical but it would be a crime for me to say anything other than kenma. like definitely on quieter side and enjoys gaming and CAT CAT CAT and also just very good at what he does in general

jihoon — shirogane from love is war! both are kinda funky when it comes to showing affection but also both sososo hardworking and genuinely caring (i was joking w jj and said i'll make everyone sasuke but actually jihoon and sasuke are both tsundere freaks sasuke is just insaner)

seokmin — nel from bleach. i don't know how to describe it like guys they're the SAME. cute and kind and fun and bubbly but also badass and the embodiment of power and talent !!

mingyu — i've said this before but he's so bokuto to me like ... big golden retriever energies from both like they are either very hyper or pouty and sulky and like their duality is ... crazy.

minghao — megumi frok jjk ... blunt and funny and IT'S JUST THE VIBES U KNOW ... emo little shits

seungkwan — killua from hxh. they both just care so much and bring out so much from the people around them, but also has a fun, witty, and snarky sort of humor. there's actually so much more i have to say about this comparison but my head is pounding out of my skull rn but yes

vernon — mob from mob psycho 100! i feel like they both have this very fun and kind energy to them but they're both on the quite side too! cares a lot about the people around them and is maybe a little awkward at times but literally the sweetest and understanding souls ever

chan — nishinoya from haikyuu! both are so talented and so good at what they do but also so bright and fun and literally brings up the mood of everyone around them (also kiki from kiki's delivery service. i feel like they're both so talented and were thrust into a big big world from a young age and worked really hard to navigate through it, made friends along the way and !! does this make sense ?!)

[hergrandplan]

8, 21 and 25 pls 💜💜💜

💜💜💜💜

8. How slow is a slowburn?

If I write it? Too fucking slow. I keep wanting to make them kiss like I'm playing with barbies. I also like to drag things out, so if anyone gets annoyed with me about a slowburn, you're good, I am annoyed with me.

But in all seriousness, I think it first of all depends on the length of the story of course. Ideally, in a slowburn the actual endgame happens well... in the end.

However, that doesn't mean nothing can happen between them - maybe they kiss halfway through! But then one of them gets cold feet, and they don't actually end up in a relationship yet. A slow burn (in my opinion) doesn't mean there's no romance throughout - it just means that all the while you're reading it, you're not 100% sure if they're ending up together. Until they inevitably do because it is fanfic after all.

21. Can you accurately describe how long a fic is going to be? If so, what's your secret?

I can't. For example: Suburban Legends was going to have 22 chapters. Idk how many there will be now. Might be 15, might be 22, might be 25, we'll see! (it's probably going to be shorter though lol). And sometimes I'll set out to write a quick 1k one-shot and before I know it I'll have 3-5k just ready to go.

Usually before I start writing, I'll have an outline with some semblance of where I want the story to go but at some point the characters take over, I lose the plot and then who knows where we're ending up (usually somewhere better than I originally had in mind). And I honestly think that's the beauty of writing; it's ever changing, and a journey, and I love it.

25. Is writing the whole thing beforehand better or worse than writing as you go?

Had you asked me 4 months ago, I would have said beforehand. I had the first chapters of Suburban Legends ready to go before I started posting it, in a way to kind of work ahead, so that I could keep a regular schedule. However, life caught up to me and now I'm as far in the story as it is posted on ao3 (give or take a few thousand words), and I kind of prefer that? It makes me feel like I am allowing the story to change more. Plus, sometimes someone will say something really smart and interesting in the comments and I find myself adjusting the story. I feel writing it as you go makes it become more dynamic (if that makes sense)

Send me a fic writing ask <3

[fairyhaos]

"if anyone else wants to come and discuss the colours i put for the members in my inbox.... yall can RUN here i wanna talk about it so bad" all you had to do was ask, yena <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)>

i actually don't know if i have synesthesia (but when i was a kid i would associate personalities(?) with the letters of the alphabet as well as numbers ? ? idk how to explain it but 3 would be this rly sweet character whereas the number 4 would be a bit on the shyer/quieter side,,, does that make sense ? bye where is this going O⁠_⁠o) but when i first saw ur post about cheol being burgundy it was just so,,, aaa idk it just made so much sense ? it was so intriguing that my mind had already associated certain colors w some of them and idk you gave me something really interesting to think about ! ! i even ended up writing something for the 95line bcs i was so inspired !!

i chose wine red for cheol (i was so close to picking burgundy lmao), pastel pink for hannie and silver for shua <3 i made some of my irls even read that stuff and they liked it so will it be ok if i share it w you too ? ? i don't mind sending it to you on anon bcs i just wrote that for fun and quite frankly i don't think it's worth stealing anyway lmao ⊙⁠.⁠☉ but yeah !! pls lmk if you'd like to read those bcs this already got so long and i spoke nothing of value here rip,, and oh do you have any emoji anons ? i would like to be 🎐 anon if that's okay ? if not, then that's fine too >:) i hope ur day has been treating you well so far !! <3

hii omg let's talk colours!!

ive never seen someone associate numbers w personalities before (then again i literally know NO ONE else with synaesthesia lmao) but that's really interesting! all i know is that the even numbers are some form of orange/brown/yellow/red for me

i think synaesthesia is So intriguing and when i was a child i didn't even realize it was not normal to see colours for people and words until i told it to others and they were like "wait what, that's not normal" so yeah, im glad it gave you something to think about too!

wine red and burgundy omg you and me 🫶🫶🫶 that really is so close! the jihan colours are also vv interesting,, jeonghan as pink is something i can definitely see haha but for me jeonghan is literally everything colour and also transparent and clear at the same time so

and joshua! i have shua's synaesthesia just sitting in my drafts basically BEGGING for someone to request it bc i. i love his colour so much and it's so strong and even though i can't find any colour on earth that looks like the colour in my head perfectly i still love it so much. i think you'll love it too when i post it bc... again there's a crazy similarity here (but kinda in a different way,,, you'll have to see what i mean later on HAHA)

i would LOVE to see your writing for the 95 line! seeing the reasoning/ the feelings of the colours and how you describe it interests me so much. ive always wanted someone to share colours and reasoning of colours with, so of course!!!

this is such a long answer haha but also yes you can definitely be 🎐anon! i have a couple of named anons i think? but i haven't heard from any of them apart from the first ask they sent me so im not too sure <3

hope you're doing well too!

[flawlessgems]

1 4 5 6 7 14 16 17 21 for the ask game that tells a lot about you (pls don't feel pressure to do them all, i probably wrote down to many again lol)

you literally made my day night by sending in these asks 🤗😘

okieee, let's get to it!

how do you take your tea/coffee?

lol I don't. I've had coffee once and nearly threw up and tea just feels so . . . thin. Not just with actual texture (never thought I'd be describing the texture of a liquid before . . .) but with flavour as well. I really just drink water. I don't have much opportunity to drink anything else, unless it's Ginger Ale when my stomach is not the best

4. what was your favorite tv show as a kid?

good grief- I don't know. The two filmed tv shows I watched the most were Wanted Dead or Alive with Steve Mcqueen, and a BBC Robin Hood with Richard Green. I also watched a lot of the animated show Tom and Jerry, which is a family favourite

5. summer or winter?

okay, if we be going like aesthetics and songs and just vibes? then summer all day. But if we be doing this for the temperature? Then winter. I can't pick winter for aesthetic reasons because winter for me is just sometimes cold, but mostly cool, which means no snow. Come January and February, it's just rain.

6. realist, optimist, or pessimist?

definitely a pessimist. I love watching Fail Army and get my motivation to get through the day from reading demotivational quotes. I'll share one with you: be a bridge, so I can walk over you to better places

7. rain or sunshine?

I don't mind rain so much if it's actually raining, and not just cloudy with a drizzle. I prefer sunshine though. One of my favourite destressing activities is swinging on a playset (call me childish; I don't care. I also still sleep with stuffed animals) so I prefer sunshine in order to do that. But I've done it in the middle of a rainstorm too, so I just have to prepare for possibly ruining my clothes and freezing for hours afterward

14. what is your defining personality trait?

oh geez- how do I answer this without sounding like a complete narcissist? I wish it was 'character trait' instead. But personality trait? People have told me I'm funny, I'm a pessimist, and very creative (I've dabbled in writing stories of various genres, poems of all kinds, and even songs; I can paint with watercolour, draw with both coloured and graphite pencil; I've built some pretty cool fantasy builds with LEGO; I tried my hand at sewing, but sucked at it; slightly better at cross-stitch but I still hate it; I can do the basic knit stich; I am pretty good at crocheting--even did a section of an advanced quilt! and I think I should stop bragging now. If I was trying to avoid sounding like a narcissist I definitely failed)

off that rabbit trail- I think my biggest personality trait is my sensitivity. I'm very sensitive to verbal negativity (which is why I became a sarcastic bitch to try and hide the fact that I really just want to go to that corner over there and cry) as well as pain and other discomforts (both my own and others. It's rather annoying. Like my mom got a paper cut and just told me about it and I almost cried). I'm also sensory-oriented, so I can get sensory-overload very easily.

16. are you an only child? oldest/middle/youngest?

teehee nope! I am one of the oldest kids in a family of over a dozen

17. what would your superpower be? how would you use it?

uhh I'm an introvert, so teleportation would be nice. I have experienced a horrific amount of super-embarrassing moments (that probably nobody else thinks about I'm just overthinking it as usual) so it would be nice to just be able to yeet myself out of there so I don't have to endure the awkward silence.

but flight would be nice too . . . I could use that to look into bird's nests

and elemental control? like damn- FIRE?!

but seriously, my overthinking mind just gave electrokinesis like the ultimate god mod. Think about it, if you could sense and manipulate electricity, you could hack into people's phones and text them, you could have every stoplight be green, and SERIOUSLY--your brain has electricity in it- I COULD SENSE PEOPLE AND MAYBE EVEN MANIPULATE THEM. But, like in a freeze-your-body or slap-yourself-in-the-face kind of way. As for accessing memory banks, I don't think I could do that. BUT THEN- LET'S GET EVEN DEEPER WITH THIS- everything is made up of protons, electrons, and neutrons, so if I could manipulate that, could I like . . . transform?!

also, to any writers out there, please don't take that electrokinesis idea. I came up with that for a story 😭

21. the best ice cream flavor

I can't remember what it was called, but it was this ice cream that was basically a combination of cookies-n-cream, cookie chunk, and oreo ice cream, and it was a BOMB. If it has chocolate in it (unless it has peanut butter 🤮) chances are high I'm going to like it

[andiwriteordie]

The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends!

oh my god can i just slap half of byler tumblr onto here? probably not which is Dumb bc there are so many wonderful people in this community whom i am sending all my love and virtual hugs and tissues to (sorry i made you cry this year).

anyways umm category 5 emotional event incoming:

@astrobei my suni astrobei, my dear beloved, sweet unofficial little sister. you are so talented. so smart. so funny. so kind. and just one of the best people to grace this website. i love how grounded you are, how you make people feel so at ease to talk to you, how humble you are for being one of The Byler Writers Ever, how everybody just is so drawn to you because you are genuine and kind and supportive always. the byler community is so lucky to have you in it, but more importantly (sorry guys this is about me <3), i'm lucky to have you in my life bc you're amazing!!! ilysm!!!!

@wiseatom thea wiseatom, my sweet thea mouse with her bindle oh my GOD, where do i even begin? thea, truly you are one of the absolute best people here, and there is something to be said about how much you love your friends and how caring and gracious and wonderful you are. not to mention you might just be the funniest person i know, like pls i cannot count how many times you've made me laugh. also. i am still NOT OVER i'm caught up in you and i am frothing at the mouth waiting for exes fic because i know it's gonna wreck me in the best way possible, and i just think you're the bestest person ever that's it! <3 ily!!!!

@bookinit02 HAVENNNNNNNNNN. oh my god, you were one of my first friends here, and i remember being so so like nervous and thinking "i hope she doesn't think i'm weird or like bothering her by talking to her!" but i am SO GLAD we became friends because you are just literally one of my dearest friends here, and even if we don't talk super often, i am so so grateful for you and for how funny and kind and thoughtful you are!!! your fics kill me every time. shed scene you will always be famous. duffer brothers get out of the way, just let haven bookinit write the damn show already.

@messrsbyler nic? aka my personal pain in the ass? the demon on my shoulder? ugh god if i say anything nice about you, i feel like i'm going to be sentencing myself to 7 more years in hell with you. can't believe god decided "let's ruin the world and send andi into it," then got bored and said, "let's ruin it some more and send nic into it" a few days later. ok fine i'm done being not nice, stg don't make me regret this. nic, your brain holy shit. the way you understand characters (MIKE) and think of things to share with this community? dear god we're all suffering (in the best way) for it. not to mention i guess you're a nice friend. supportive and stuff. really nice. funny even if you annoy me. stuff like that. can't believe we decided to go feral over atla and now we're stuck in hell together.

@livsmessydoodles LIV LIV LIV MY SUNSHINE SWEET BELOVED LIV!!!!! oh my god, you are the best. literally so talented and so kind and so funny and so encouraging and also just so badass? like ok i'm not on twt anymore (rip to that hellhole) but the way you would so easily fire back at those people who tried to attack you asg jdle l HELP? but then like. you are also just the sweetest and friendliest person ever, and i??? i'm obsessed with you. your art makes me so emotional, and i cry ok. also thanks for putting up with me kicking your door down with sad byler thoughts. love you so so much.

@kidovna bhavna. ok. words cannot describe how much i adore you. you are literally one of the most talented people i have ever met in my life, so much so that i gush to my irl friends and family about your artwork and how cool i think you are. but more than that, you are truly just one of the most encouraging and most humble and one of the kindest people in our little byler fandom! i love how i constantly see you cheering others on and how i see you working with others and putting things together that make the community so excited (spider-will my beloved, thank you and every person who made this possible). your art never fails to make me smile and feel things, and i am sooooo lucky and grateful i get to call you my dear friend!

@elekinetic this is my official petition to put ella elekinetic in charge of stranger things 5. because hello. screenwriting. holy shit? holy shit. holyyyyy shit. ella, you are truly one of the most talented people i know, and usually, i read incredibly quickly because that's my default, but when i read your scripts i always take them so slow. i am like holding my breath in anticipation, feeling every single emotion, and i swear to you it's like i'm watching the show. and then on top of that you're just? one of the nicest people ever? literally i'm obsessed with you. thanks for coming to my tedtalk on why ella is the best.

@strangeswift abby abby abby abby!!!!! my stranger things x taylor swift partner in crime, you are THE BEST. god one of the highlights of the last few weeks of this year has been getting to know you because you're just such a joy to be around and to talk to. you have THE BEST takes on byler and on taylor swift, and i love how unabashedly nerdy i can be about this with you. also, i constantly see you on the tag just encouraging other people within this community, and look, i think that's really just such a special thing and is a testament to what an amazing person you are.

@toystoryfan TOY OH MY GOD. petition to make toy The Byler of the year please? because there is nobody i see lifting people up, making people smile, and brightening others' days like toy does. you are one of the most thoughtful and kind people i know. there is just a warmth and positivity to you that is SO wonderful, and it never fails to make me smile. i am hereby naming you sunshine incarnate and naming myself sunshine protector bc if anyone ever is mean to you, i'll end them.

@eightieslesbian MADDYYYYYYY. okay maddy, literally like i said with abby, one of the highlights of the last couple weeks of this year has been getting to chat with you and getting to know you!!! you are literally one of the sweetest people ever and also HELLO GIFSETS? THE GIFSET MAKER? OKAY. YEAH. THE COOLEST. plus our love for merlin has been resurrected (unlike arthur pendragon oof), and i love that for us. you always brighten my day whenever i see you around the tag, and i'm SO GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS <3

@smoosnoom MOON!!!!! a byler god among humans. the quality of fics that you put out is just absolutely outstanding? like i swear you don't miss, and i so appreciate how much thought and love and intention you put into your writing!!! literally top tier writing. and on top of that, you're incredibly sweet and so positive, so big win for the byler community that we have moon in it!!

@rotisserie5107 RORI!!!!!! rori oh my god, it's you and toy i swear. first off, you never fail to make me giggle when i see your tags or your comments because i swear you have the funniest commentary. rori comments are some of my favorite comments. i love how easygoing and friendly and funny you are and how easily you just vibe with everyone here? you're also SUCH an incredibly supportive and kind person, which makes this fandom an even better place. i return to work this week and i will be listening to ethel cain soon, so i will return to you with thoughts and feelings. 🫡

@wibble-wobbegong WIBBLE. ok i'm glad this ask came around bc i have been meaning to just stumble over into your asks and say this, but i'll do it here. wibble, first off, you're SO incredibly smart and do SUCH a wonderful job at analyzing the show and all its nuances. like bless you and your ministry. but second off, more than that (and not that the show and the fandom isn't important, but look there's also more to life than stranger things lmao), i can say without a doubt that you are truly one of the kindest people in the byler community. you always come across as so humble and so welcoming and so kind, which i think is often lacking (because it is the internet lmao), so it's always such a breath of fresh air to see you on my dash! also legit one of the funniest people ever ok?!!

god okay. that was so many people, and i could go on and on and on (and i have half a mind to just reblog this and add more people to it) because there are so so so so many people not on this list that i could gush about... but i'm hungry and probably need to go eat something since i skipped dinner last night. so that's it, thanks for making my 2022 brighter!!!